T3H RaVinG 1mP

Why This Blog Has Been Unposted In For Nearly a Year

2011-07-13T04:00:00.000-05:00

Google Terms of Service

will pick a new host soon (gotta check tumblr ToS in the meanwhile), probably have to go private/self-hosted
the tumblr will have more thorough explanations on why this is happening in the following weeks (especially since my prior posts on fair use brag me as the "give it away for free guy")

Flyer RE:Copyright and "Piracy"

2010-06-21T06:53:00.003-05:00

Addendum: DEAR ISPs and NET USERS WORLDWIDE

Censor Watch: FEARNET

2010-05-08T20:38:00.003-05:00

Fearnet does not allow you to post the word "Hell" anywhere on their website. So I sent them an email:

Why am I not allowed to post the word "Hell" on the site? Considering that this is a HORROR SITE about HORROR STORIES, Hell is a pretty common setting/theme addressed so blocking this word in the name of moral standards is utterly idiotic and discourages the natural process of evaluating the content carefully packaged and presented to us by responsible artists.

FEARNET I EAGERLY AWAIT YOUR CORRECTION OF THIS UNBELIEVABLY INSANE CENSORSHIP

_THE RAVING IMP _kelly.King

Much Content (may) Now be on da .tumblr.

2010-03-22T01:59:00.003-05:00

Okay so I am currently experimenting with the tumblr interface/concept/community. So far I like it and do find it strangely easier to output there than here, mostly because I feel I need NO edits, even though I go to great lengths to not edit this thing as much as possible in effort to maintain its inherent interweb style. I tried "supplementing" this blog before with the ravingimp blogspot but that just got.... splintering and confusing. This is equally splintering and confusing at this point.

But there are some advantages to tumblr that I think can take Imp RavinG to the next level. At root, I do want this to evolve into a multiple author effort, with like minded imps raving on all manner of topics generally unimportant to spheres outside the TED (technology, entertainment, design) intellectual space. tumblr is designed with community in mind; it's an inherent and basically unavoidable element of blogging there. Here on blogger/blogspot, there have been feeble attempts at building community via "Followers" but it still requires a high degree of web surfing and inconvenient and tedious hunting to connect with other authors, to the extent that you might as well be navigating the uber-bloggosphere or trying to reach out to the clanny types on wordpress and, more notoriously, typepad.

Right now, my tumblr is branded and designed to be more personal to me and to not be very aesthetically linked to ImpRaving (it looks a great deal more like a streamlined version of ravingimp). I am still sorting out how this effects all my automatic social media updates; I thought ping.fm was finally my answer but tumblr seems to offer it all in-site.

And now I'm sick of talking about this. I'm trying tumblr, look at it or don't. My domain name won't be re-directing there anytime soon, but if I start feeling the groove over there, I'll look into integrating my feed from there onto this page or summat. We'll see. I'll see. You can start to see by clicking here.

teh.RaVinG ImP

Ongoing: Hulu on Censoring The Office

2010-03-12T12:16:00.003-06:00

Hulu assigned sum1 to get back with me on this issue. I sent this last reply to their rep Brandon Boone on March 5 and have yet to hear back. check the pilkipedia thread on this too, link below

hello again Brandon,

I've also posted at the Ricky Gervais-Steve Merchant-Karl Pilkington (often abbreviated to RSK) superfansite Pilkipedia.co.uk to further investigate your claims of censorship http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=9894&p=272909#p272909. As of now, leading RSK fan Limericklad confirms "It wasn't censored when filmed, or aired on this side of the world originally". Limericklad is highly regarded in the world of Gervais scholarship and was a viewer of the show when it first aired on BBC2 in the UK.

I would please like to know of the source to which you are referring. As prior stated, I have seen and read innumerable discussions with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant on the topic of making The Office and they have never mentioned intentional censorship. At this point your source would be a true watershed to myself and one other RSK chronicler. As devotees of this subject, it is critical you reveal any valid information supporting the claim that Gervais and Merchant incorporated censored aspects into "The Office", which is universally regarded at the most successful British comedy in history.

Thank you for your time and interest in this issue.

cheers,
_kelly.King

_kelly.King wrote:
> Hello Brandon,
>
> Thanks for your reply.
> What are your sources for this claim that The Office was filmed with censors intact? How do you explain the very uncensored DVD (both the UK region and US region releases), Netflix Instant Watch, BBC online (distrib on iPlayer and RealPlayer GoldPass) versions? OR THE initial airing of the show on BBC2 which was uncensored? Does the show sometimes censor and sometimes, not? Every British citizen clearly remembers Brent telling Finch to "fuck off" at the conclusion of the Christmas special, as Mr. Karl Pilkington discusses in the special "Ricky Gervais: Genius of Comedy".
>
> I'd like to think I've greatly overlooked this, but I've never in any commentary, interview, or discussion of The Office by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant heard them mention that they chose to integrate censors into the show.
>
> _kelly.King
>
> Brandon Boone wrote:
>> Hi Kelly -
>>
>> Thanks for the email. After doing some research, The Office UK is not censored in any way on Hulu, nor has it ever been censored. If you are referring to the bleeps, it was filmed that way on purpose.
>>
>> For more information about this, I suggest you check you the discussion tab on The Office UK show page (www.hulu.com/the-office-uk). There, you will find a discussion topic about this that explains it in better detail.
>>
>> Best regards,
>>
>> Brandon Boone
>> Hulu Communications
>> -------------------------------------------
>> From: _kelly.King[SMTP:STINGER839@GMAIL.COM]
>> Sent: Friday, March 05, 2010 12:59:06 PM
>> To: Hulu Media
>> Subject: Censored version of "The Office" UK
>>
>> Heya,
>> Was wondering what influenced the decision to distribute a censored version of The Office (2001, UK)? Was the content bought pre-censored from BBC America? Was a uncensored version of "The Office" ever considered for distribution on Hulu?
>> As someone passionately dedicated to the preservation of "art as originally intended", especially for works of greater literary and cultural importance such as "The Office", I am interested in the story here. I'm one more of the throng of ravenous independent bloggers and I have been studying and writing on censored iterations of "The Office" for the past three years as one of my pet subjects. Many viewers are interested in understanding why and who is censoring this show, as best evidenced by the discussions on Hulu's own message board for the show.
>> Thank you for taking your time to review my queries. I appreciate any information you can give me.
>>
>> cheers,
>> _kelly.King
>>
>> P.S.: Please advise if I am sending this to the wrong department and would receive a more thorough answer by emailing another department.
>>
>>
>

last time I blogged I was quick to get a response. bitching is good.

raving 1MP

Hulu Censors "The Office"

2010-03-05T12:47:00.004-06:00

The Office UK is now available for viewing on Hulu, the infamous US hub for streaming television. On its first day on Hulu, it held the top popular spot (determined by views) every time I was visiting and remained on first page of most popular shows for several days.

It's great that even the most relentless of culture idiots are now aware of the series, but unfortunate that Hulu is choosing to broadcast a censored version. I have contacted Hulu via email and tweet, but have received no clear answer on why/how a censored version was chosen. I cannot find any other articles on the net explaining the deal. Next, I will email BBC America if I don't soon get a reply from Hulu as Hulu lists BBCAmerica as the source for the show, but I really would rather hear from Hulu.

There are several threads addressing the censorship on the show's Hulu forum but I have only posted in the one titled "Censored?". Someone has recently pointed all that not all eps have been censored in a thread "re:the whole censorhsip thing" but I have not confirmed what that user says, and I find the inconsistency to be even further annoying.

At first I was quite outraged, posting to a very naive user who thought the censoring was part of the gag: "no it's censored because Hulu is CHOOSING TO AIR A CENSORED VERSION BECAUSE HULU THINKS THEY MUST CONFORM TO TYPICAL AMERICAN BROADCASTING PRUDENESS. This is not some intentional censor or the producers' cleverly working with censors; this is just out and out censored BY HULU FOR MORAL REASONS ABOUT WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE FOR ADULTS TO VIEW." That's just how pissed I was.

I'm still proper pissed, but I've cooled to the point of regaining my senses and being properly argumentative: "There is plenty of "uncensored" content on here, but everything has to be viewed on an individual basis. Whether Hulu bought a pre-censored version or censored it themselves, they still MADE A DECISION to go with a censored version over an uncensored version of The Office. Whenever you pick censored over uncensored, that indicates what your company deems acceptable, regardless of any uncensored content you also boast. In this case, Hulu is saying "a censored version of one of the greatest modern works of video art is just as good as the original untainted version". That's a position I don't take lightly, and I find it offensive that Hulu even considered acquiring a censored version ESPECIALLY given the fact that they have many other shows that are not censored."

Here's a copy of what I sent to media@hulu.com with a recent postscript addition:

Heya,
Was wondering what influenced the decision to distribute a censored version of The Office (2001, UK)? Was the content bought pre-censored from BBC America? Was a uncensored version of "The Office" ever considered for distribution on Hulu?
As someone passionately dedicated to the preservation of "art as originally intended", especially for works of greater literary and cultural importance such as "The Office", I am interested in the story here. I'm one more of the throng of ravenous independent bloggers and I have been studying and writing on censored iterations of "The Office" for the past three years as one of my pet subjects. Many viewers are interested in understanding why and who is censoring this show, as best evidenced by the discussions on Hulu's own message board for the show.
Thank you for taking your time to review my queries. I appreciate any information you can give me.

cheers,
_kelly.King

P.S.: Please advise if I am sending this to the wrong department and would receive a more thorough answer by emailing another department.

I have sent this email twice, first time without the postscript. I will email Hulu every day for two weeks before inquiring of BBC America as I believe it tugs at the greater issue of Hulu's responsibility to account for this inconsistency in their censored broadcasting. As always, any genuine information on this topic is appreciated.

TEH RAVINGST IMP _kelly.KING

SQUEAK! Boohbah is a Chipmunk

2009-12-24T14:13:00.001-06:00

so a new developing segment on the raving imp will be carefully planned exploitation of my sweet innocent boyfriend for lulz of the general net audience. He's made appearances here and on my tweets before, but this is his official debut... as a chipmunk. So ouvre ton coeur to Chris, or Boohbah as you'll come to know him, munkerized.
_t3h_imp_which-is_RaVinG

The Office on [adult swim]? OMGWTFSIRUSLY?!?!?!

2009-08-23T05:26:00.008-05:00

This news originally deposited by the collective anus of slashfilm, with the official [as] bitchboard thread here, I learnt bout dis whilst browsing the promos section of the [as] vids site and found these little smelly tumors:

My reaction to this is best summarized by Brent himself:

I must say that if you were a conscious being (at any point) in the past decade and yet do not own The Office and have seen it 50 plus times, you don't deserve to ever see it.

It is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to note that the series will no doubt be edited for time constraints. Edited Office + Censored Boosh on the same network? Will [as] try to soil Trailer Park Boys next after they have depleted the BBC vault? Are there NO promising comedy show writers left in America willing to work for Turner Broadcasting?

ALSO ANNOUNCING, [adult swim] FULL FALL 2010 schedule:

-Fawlty Towers (to replace staple content like Family Guy)
-Are You Being Served? (to replace content you saw before but didn't realize you liked like King of the Hill)
-Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (to replace content for people with no attention span or unique sense of humor like Robot Chicken)
-BlackAdder (to replace rising legendary content like Squidbillies)
-Fry and Laurie (to replace the distinct comedic sense of content like Frisky Dingo and Sealab 2021)0
-Snuff Box (to replace edgy content like Superjail)
-EastEnders (ANYTHING to replace Tim and Eric content)

_TEH RAVING IMP

I WONZ!!!!!

2009-08-18T18:12:00.002-05:00

For once I really can't bitch. I'm not even that upset about not having any weed today. This marks my second sweepstakes/contest win in as many weeks, with my other win being a DVD of The Riches Season 2 from popentertainment.com.

The Razer Lycosa was won at the Mountain Dew Gamefuel Sweeps, which still has a few more days left to it. If you want some extra advantage with this sweeps, you must check out this very nifty website which actively streams all the sweeps stats.

I know everyone loves winning, especially if you win summat material so I may be doing more articles on sweeps I enter, my tactics, paid surveys I do, etc. but for right now I just want to flaunt about how I have one of the most awesome keyboards on the market and I got it by obsessively clicking on shit on tha interwebs.

RAVED IMP!!!!

Mandatory Viewing for all North Americans: Documentary 'The Union'

2009-08-01T08:46:00.003-05:00

Or the Google Video page for it.

This film utterly does all of its own talking. So let me just break it down in segments for you to digest:

-00:00-04:20(the) Quick(est) history of marijuana prohibition in the USA
-05:10-23:27 intro to marijuana Prohibition issues and history in USA, including issues of propaganda: death rate comparison to other drugs and substances, addiction and marijuana, "the gateway drug" myth and the criminal black market, "lazy" myth vs. successful examples of real people, violence and "link" to marijuana,
-23:28-32:28 functions of Prohibition in the USA based on history and operating method, economic and political ramifications of Prohibition, Prohibition effects on minors, decriminalization vs. legalization defined and explored,
-32:30-56:25 British Columbia and its infamous bud and grow ops, visiting real BC grow ops one active and one abandoned, BC cannabis culture, The Union in BC the system which facilitates and creates the illegal cannabis industry
-56:26-1:15:43 The War on Drugs in America, DEA vs Tommy Chong, US' drug war impacts Canadian Marc Emory, Canada legalize?!? oh noes!
-1:15:44-1:18:46 the American private prison industry, the booming US prison population
-1:18:48money $$$ to be made from drug testing, the pharmecutical companies' financial health vs. the patients' health, meeting a real life cannabis patient (at 1:28:00)
-1:32:42 Politicians' problems effect the people, "medicinal": pain vs pleasure in American culture
-1:36:00 Industrial hemp industry in America and why the fuck not?
-1:39:00 closing thoughts

This film is not about smoking pot; pulling off the funny and droll (and wholly marketable as mainstream entertainment) mask of silly stoners, the film introduces you to potentially the most valuable and influential plant in the United States, perhaps the world. This film reveals the economic and political climate of America by viewing it through the lens of this plant which stretches its roots and branches, leaves and buds, into every element of our American lives.

_THE RAVING IMP _kelly.King

Reply from LOGO

2009-07-30T01:06:00.003-05:00

Total brushoff reply:

Hi _kelly.King,

Our Contact Us form is built to allow our audience to provide further
context for their comments. The format of the page has worked well for
everyone who has submitted comments thus far. If anyone would like to
submit a comment, and identifies as any of the options you detailed in
your blog post, they can clarify in the "Your Message:" textbox.

Thanks again for your interest in Logo!

This totally doesn't address my central issue. It's not about the individual expression as much as it is the overall awareness had by many people coming in contact with the form. But like a typical media producer, LOGO only cares about gathering statistics for their marketing divisions. No room for thought here, unless that thought is "what does this group buy?".

Note to self: only submit intelligent inquiries to non-profit orgs from now on.

RAVING1MP

Letter to LOGO Networks (and all the other outdated "GLBT" orgs)

2009-07-04T05:53:00.003-05:00

Something is terribly wrong with these options.

Your "I identify as" selection is quite flawed. "Transgender" is included amongst a selection of sexual preferences, when "transgender" is a gender identity selection and nothing to do with sexual preference; it is a selection for a sex/gender field.

Furthermore, "bisexual" is an outdated and inaccurate terminology that negates the implications of including "transgender"; the term you are looking for is "pansexual". I presume that including "transgender" means you acknowledge the fluidity of sexgender and existence outside the sexgender binary, and I recognize that bisexual may be still included for those who believe that there are only two sexes.

To simplify: "Transgender", "male", "female", "transsexual", "intersexed", and "genderqueer" are sex/gender options. Sexual preference options are "gay", "lesbian", "straight", "queer", "bisexual", "pansexual", "asexual". I realize that even in the queer community there is confusion on this, so it is vital that an organization such as yours, which presents these minority culture constructs to a larger audience must be responsible enough to present these things correctly. I look forward to further correspondence on this topic.
_____________

I am sure that this is not the last of these letters I will be sending out.

the most irrITATed ravING IMP,
_kelly.King

Why 'Haute Tension' Revolutionized the Horror Twist

2009-06-25T12:19:00.003-05:00

Advanced sorries for this currently being and imageless post; cannot find my copy of Haute Tension at the mo.

Reposted from a reply to article at Horror-Movies.ca "Horror Clichés that need to Go"; one of the hated cliches is the dreaded last minute "twist" made essential to modern cinema by "The Sixth Sense", but the article also counts "Psycho" amongst the culprits of the last minute twist.

Let me stand up for Aja here. HIGH TENSION has been hailed by the zealously analytical cinephile crowd (of which I include myself) because it offers a twist on the twist. Aja's original script didn't have the reveal until the last scene, but when cutting it, it was suggested to him that the twist come in the second to last reel (remember how we see the detectives watching Marie killing the store clerk on tape BEFORE Marie has her final last battle with La Tueur?). {note: a reel means approx 22mins of film, can vary according to filmstock and is a term used by filmmakers to distance themselves from the language of screenwriters, but it is basically a little less than an act and a little more than one sequence} You can verify this by listening to Aja and Levasseur's commentary track, where I am sure they tell you who gave them this idea.

In this very simple but wholly revolutionary twist on the twist, we know the character split throughout the final act and not at the film's conclusion, making for a most dizzying and frustrating final 20 minutes for the audience. SO MANY people are angry at Haute Tension and accuse it of simple twist device, when actually the film has worked on them better than expected. Aja realized that by revealing the twist just that must earlier than the standard, that he would be producing a whole new breed of story that utterly devastates the twist cliche, and THIS is why so many people get pissed off about the ending.

Very few people can point to what exactly got their panties bunched about Haute Tension other than "the twist ending"; they don't even note that the twist DOES NOT come at the end, but very far (in film terms) before it, and the ensuing ENDING IS frustrating BECAUSE the twist came as what we perceive (due to typical twist implementation practices) as too early and leaves the ending feeling very convoluted and contradictory. We get to see Marie's dual nature played out, knowing that this is somewhere in her fragmented mind, instead of having to rewatch the film for that effect of deciphering what is real and what is imagined. Any other films been able to do this before HT? cuz I'd sure as shit love to know about them.

raving IMP

JOIN IMPRAVING! and Web 2.Confused

2009-06-11T02:14:00.004-05:00

So I'm trying out Wordpress, wondering if maybe I'm missing something at Typepad, and then reassuring myself that I should start focusing on expanding within the Blogger community.

I finally had pingback defined for me, and damnit I want that! I still don't know if I should have ONE blog per topic focus and spread over several blogs, or have one blog with ALL topics, which is what Impraving should be/aspires to be, but I alwasy hold back on adding new topics for fear it clutter the site and add to the already tough navigation. Maybe this all just springs from my inner desire for a third column on this site.... and also a realization that my content output will never match my number of topics due to my own laziness.

Which is why I need to get around Blogger more and MAYBE add some more contributors to this site. This site is meant to be about bitching, and though I am wholly impish, I am too fastidious to create diligent work. ANd that makes no sense because what I am trying to say is that my neurotic desire for perfection makes me cave in to "Aww, Fuck it!" more often than it does %500 more work and time input. Also, imps working in coordination are more powerful than just one (that's why they're imps and not djinns or trolls or demons).\, So I SEEK MORE TO THIS CAUSE.

THE INTERNET IS TOO BIG FOR ONE IMP. WE MUST BAND TOGETHER.

Have or get:
A) A Google Blogger account
B) some modicum of writing talent
C) interest in one or more of the blog's topics (which get vaguer and larger daily)
D) impish disposition
AND THEN EMAIL ME BOUT JOINING THE RAVING IMP - that lil link on the side or IMP AT STONED DOT COM if you don't click linx. lol

THE RAVING IMP

Epic Wall of Death at Slayer

2009-05-24T06:03:00.003-05:00

No Real post. Just this awesome fuckin vid I found while looking for crazy Slayer pit moments. I'm a metalhead but I'm also a pacifist hippie pussy, so I could never do the pit shit. But if I had to be one guy in a pit for one moment, it would be that guy at that moment. Truly defines "wall of death".

TIME Pwned by 4chan EPIC WIN for Humanity

2009-05-03T01:30:00.004-05:00

So to anyone who should know this, you probably already know this and thus this is total olds. TIME's Top 100 Most Influential People got totally pwned by 4chan and the infamous Anonymous Marblecake cabal. I found out about this via Geekologie while I was stumbling for news on eye camera developments.

TIME tries to minimize this massive pwn by saying in their official result article:

To put the magnitude of the upset in perspective, it's worth noting that everyone moot beat out actually has a job.
TIME.com managing editor Josh Tyrangiel says moot is no less deserving than previous title holders like Nintendo video-game designer Shigeru Miyamoto (2007) and Korean pop star Rain (2006). "I would remind anyone who doubts the results that this is an Internet poll," he says. "Doubting the results is kind of the point."

Yup, that's definitely one of the last shrill squeals of mainstream media domination. We are entering a new age wherein manufacturing consent will be majorly difficult for the rulers, as this prank reveals that there is never any one person who can be considered 'most influential'. Individuals do not rule, groups rule. And no group has more power than the unbridled possibilities of the internet.

YOU are the most influential person in the world if you have a brain and internet access. No longer shall our news by dictated by a small group holding all the other cards. I don't have to waste thousand of dollars to attend a brainwashing institution and spend precious years of my life kissing ass and compromising my values to be published. I don't live in the lie world where a "job" equals my assured security within free society; let's face it - this "job" illusion will be busted soon enough, hopefully next. We are truly at a watershed point where the power of true humanity has been unleashed. At this junction, we finally have control over how and what information we obtain. We must be extremely vigilant to keep it this way.

ALSO FUCK EVERY MAINSTREAM PUBLICATION STILL TRYING TO MAINTAIN CONTROL. GIVE IT UP - WE HAVE WON. SHUT DOWN YOUR CRUDE FACILITIES LIKE TIME MAGAZINE AND AT LEAST FACE US ON OUR OWN BATTLEFIELD...OR DON'T AND JUST PLZ FUCK OFF kthx.
_TEH RAVING IMP

The IMP Lives (and is Podcasting)

2009-05-02T06:40:00.006-05:00

I swear I ain't dead. I'm just busy being in love, couple that with my undeniable appetite for procrastination and my love of laziness, and my input equals null. But I can't go on like this..... So I must swear to do more articles.

On the frontier:
... IS FUCKING COOL: Rich Fulcher
the 1mP Joins the Trend of Discussing the Politics of Horror Remakes
Hawt Flixsterers Part 3

Kicking about in my head:
Piracy After the Pirate Bay Trial (prolly won't happen coz it would require research)
Childhood Dreams Happening: What I thought Of the Wolverine movie (prolly won't appear here, but just on my flixster page instead)
Why [as] can suck my left nut (it's less tasty) because they've been censoring the MIGHTY BOOSH!!! - prolly won't be written coz that's all I have to say about it, and apparently I talk about in an as yet unreleased episode of my upcoming project - a podcast!
SOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO...........
I've also been up to groundwork for doing a podcast. Yes - even more self-indulgent and never edited nonsense coming your way in aural form. It's called BOOSH MANGO, and I've a site up, and technically the first episode is up, but I'm considering switching host servers because Pod-O-matic doesn't allow customizable embedding (that I can figure out so far). Also general design and promotion for the podcast is still in progress (as in it hasn't really been done yet).

-t3h raving IMP

Dana Snyder is Fucking Cool

2009-03-22T15:39:00.001-05:00

This will be the first entry in a series called "Fucking Cool". Because I'll be losing me net access til early April, I feel I must post loads pending the looming disconnect and make it a new series promise to keep things sugary. "Fucking Cool" will highlight things, people, and people-things that you should just keep an eye on. I'll explain why the topic is fucking cool and bombard you with related linkage. I'm whoring out my tastes so butter your buttocks, chapstick your lips, break out the flavoured lube, jump in your furry suit, pop in your gag ball, or whatever you need to do to get you off.

BEING CELEBRATED IS DANA SNYDER, known to stoners everywhere as infamous [adult swim] voice-over artist, with credits including MASTER SHAKE of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and GRANNY of Squidbillies
Here are some reasons why Dana Snyder is fucking cool (in !SPECIAL! bullet point presentation mode for interwebs blog articles):
If you made up the lyrics "Face Omelett" on the spot after just one Metal 101 session in your exclusive "connoisseurs-only, no-plumey allowed" music club, you're fucking cool. (this information was recently revealed in Episode 87 of The Ken P. D. Snydecast ataround 20mins in through 29min)

Master Shake feat. Nashville Pussy ATHF Colon Movie Song Video for Metalheads

-If you own banjos and can organize a full crowd kazaa-a-thon, you're fucking cool.
-If you can hang comedically with Bob Odenkirk, you're fuckin cool.
-If you can make annoying Ken Plume a part of your life AND career, you're fucking cool.

-If you regularly host (or MC as the kids call it) Burlesque shows as part of your career, you're fucking cool.
-If you have all your net profiles pointed at an uber-stylish homepage with no content on it, you're fucking cool.
-one embedded reason:

And done! So your job now: Remember new Aqua Teen on MARCH 29 and listen to the Ken P. D. Snydecast and visit the Ken P. D. Snydecast Experience Snydeblog.

raving IMp

BOOSH sexes on [as]

2009-03-21T03:27:00.005-05:00

The Mighty Boosh land stateside on March 29, along with the new episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

The show was originally meant to come here (to the U.S. cable network and its odd devotees) in January. Dunno why things were delayed, but now the [as] crowd will know the BOOSHness. Now pictures because loads of hits are generated from them:

The Funk
The Funk is over Parliament and down with Old Gregg.
The Hitcher plays slap bass of doom.

ravING imp

Filmroll: MARTYRS

2009-03-19T20:54:00.003-05:00

Thanks to Dean for telling me to stop being a douche and blog already. This post is dedicated to you.

As part of the New Wave of French Horror, Pascal Laugier is making huge waves and has already crashed into the American market with the prestigious job of helming the new Hellraiser port. He landed this job primarily due to the astonishing work done in Martyrs, which is just now hitting the DVD market in the US.

I watched this release, which is hosted on IsoHunt.

Martyrs is very bloody, like all the films of its school, and takes the post-modern style of including not one central but many equally distanced twists. The film feels like two movies in one, which some reviewers have bitched about, but I welcome it as long as the two parts are as astonishingly strong as these. My Flixster review which includes much spoilers is at this link, but I'll tell you everything you should or need to know right here in this post.

An important correction/note is that in the subtitles I downloaded, there are some important moments where a primary antagonist speaks of "transformation" (as it is subbed) but specifically what is being referred to here is "transfiguration". The latter half of this film reveals the titling of the film and offers an intriguing Salo spin (though many pedestrian viewers will reference Hostel instead). The first half of the film reminds me very much of Laugier's ghost movie Saint Ange insofar as it is focused on the relationship between the two central characters, one of whom is very mentally ill and suffering from hallucinations. When the second half begins, we descend down into a chamber which is very reminiscent of the climax's setting in Saint Ange. However in this basement of horrors, there is just the right amount of ambiguity to chill (Saint Ange is arguably too ambiguous).

Laugier is a pioneer of modern horror and MARTYRS is essential viewing for all horror fans.

_t3h raving imp

Damn this Blog Notion

2009-03-08T10:06:00.003-05:00

For "quality control" reasons, I keep hesitating to add content here for fear that it is not polished enough. So instead of posting thoughtful things here, I've just been blasting the doppelganger blog ravingimp (which I won't link to again here - it's in the sidebar twice and one reader has already told me that my site is too self-linky). What I'm realizing/remembering is that the very REASON I started ImpRaVinG is so I didn't have to give a damn about quality, sort of abandon my true nature and don a personnage, and just go wild catering to gain as many hits as possible. Instead, I've been going post-wild on the doppelblog which is not at all designed for regular visits as it is meant to be my coding and design sandbox, not properly tweaked for search engines, and was originally intended just to EXPLAIN and EXPAND some of the craziness that ensues in this space. Because I've realized that ImpRaVinG IS my id and ultimately inseparably ME, my concern over quality control slipped back in. I COULD have it every which way and create blog upon blog until I'm micro-meta-mega out of my damn mind, but that won't help boost my visits and "net presence". ImpRaVinG is meant to be my pure interwebs drivel, and I've been denying it that purpose. ravingimp doppelblog as a result has had some damn nice posts recently, and I am SO stopping that shit. From now on, anything I want to SHARE will go here and only notes to self or "About ImpRaving" will appear on the doppelblog. That DOES mean that posts are gonna SPIKE hardcore and be full of embedded videos and pointless raving impish comedy, as was originally meant for this site.

The major things to return and properly begin, respectively: Hawt Flixsterers and Filmroll.

TEH RAVING 1MP

My Official Stance on "Piracy" and Digital Distribution

2009-02-12T09:08:00.009-06:00

I just now checked the Pilkipedia blog to see if anyone intelligently replied to my post (none did). Apparently I've been banned for piracy. And this is because my blog which is only a link in my signature - which has been my signature since I started on the site - promotes piracy and has links to RSK related media (specifically the first post is a link to the latest audiobook release). I wasn't warned or nuffan AND I didn't actually violate any rules. I didn't post any "piracy" direct links. I posted a link to my site which discusses many things, one of them piracy and how it's not really piracy but evolved media distribution.

Which leads me to a post I've been needing to make for a while as I am an author and seeking to be employed in film production. Eventually, a producer, agent, or collaborator will see this site and I want to have my stance thoroughly explained in advance.

There's a problem within a fan group if we HAVE to put on a guise for paying for all of an artist's content when that's nowhere near reality. I think it's okay to get content without paying for it. As a matter of fact, I think it's a natural evolution of art and idea Darwinism.

Let me make this personal so I can best demonstrate my point. I'm an author. If I write a full novel, or even go to the lengths of producing an audio book of said novel, I will distribute the content for free digitally. I will however charge for a physical version of said novel because the reader is then actually paying for something (paper, ink, and a damned nice binding). And how will I or anybody for that matter ever make money again in the idea industries? Because if the content is really that good, fans, general and dedicated, will want some physical proof of adoration for said work. In the case of literature, people will come to book signings with books and some will even pay on that day the jacked-up book store signing prices for their copies. On top of that, there is always merch, which the publishing industry and authors in general have not capitalized on.

Things get tougher for film because financing overall is more complicated. Still, as I've said before in the previous post Old Distribution Methods in a Web World merchandising and DVD sales (and the bonuses that come with DVDs) would still support independent film-makers at the least, and for merchandising giants like Lucasfilm Ltd, downloading one of the Star Wars films can't do any damage to their profits. Another factor is that traditional pirating is fairly exclusive and current easier models like torrents are still a bit more time investment than the average user is willing to dedicate, especially when offered an easy and reasonably priced legal alternative. This is the world: digital distribution has already overtaken traditional distribution as discussed in a recent Variety article. The industry is still adapting, but the guaranteed solution of the moment is rental stream sites. I myself, though a gifted pirate, am a Netflix subscriber and have been for years, making use of the physical rental and instant viewing options. I am also currently testing out RealPlayer's SuperPass (which I'm none too pleased with). So you see - even a brokeass (unemployed, at poverty level) like myself is willing to scrap together $15 bucks a month for a paid service.

Musicians have known for ages that they don't make any money off record sales - only the distribution asses at the record company do. Musicians make their money on performances and merchandise, which are things that they don't need a record company to do. Record companies also use to do that "ads and promotions" thing, which film studios still fervently do, but in the evolved internet world, it is increasingly easy to do your own advertising for reasonable prices. Writers and film-makers can easily apply this model too. I've already discussed book signings and merchandising for authors, but also a great potential money maker are speaking engagements and readings (When I had the bucks, I paid $50 to see David Sedaris do a reading and talk). I don't know how money works at "Cons" but I'm sure authors have already figured out how to make some bucks out of panels and appearances. Film-makers can do similarly, as a screening at a theatre is an experience one can pay for; added bonus for the crowd and justified higher ticket price if the film-maker can appear at said screening. The film industry fully understands that even for the pedestrian viewer, the theatre experience is very much desired for specific films and genres, which is why 3d (the RealD) technology is experiencing a re-birth at the moment. Increasingly more people can afford "home theatre systems", but poorer economic brackets (such as myself) will still pay to see a film in a proper theatre experience RealD or not, even after having seen a paid or free streamed copy online (I know I have, and as I said before, brokeass poor).

The other elephant in the room is advertising; just embed in your content. Vloggers have figured this out and most of them only have a $200 digicam, broadband internet, and a intermediate understanding of net technology. Larger stream sites like Hulu and Joost are applying this model quite successfully as well. So why can't we all ride on the advertising industry? Even if you're doing a three man podcast (as Ricky Gervais is) that garners, say, half a million unique downloads, that's a HUGE market and you can charge sponsors a whopping good price beyond what any radio station would/could ever pay you. That is the power of GOOD content. If the content is good and you have the market, there's money to be made if you're clever.

_teh RavingIMp, and seriously _kelly.King

references/resources:
-Can artists make a living without ASCAP et al.? Jamendo says: "Yes!"

-Nature publishing group web focus: Access to the literature: the debate continues

Second Ricky Gervais Guide To Audiobook Hits

2009-01-22T11:46:00.004-06:00

Looks like this one is already on the Pirate Bay tracker, but I'm the only one whose got a result coming up on the search. Anyways, it's the second episode of series 6 of The Ricky Gervais Show. They're calling this section of four "Guide To" and this episode is the Guide To Natural History.

download Guide To Natural History

On my recently launched blog about this blog, I will be posting my reviews and thoughts within the Imp_Expanded section of that and this blog. If u ain't confused yet, you still got dat Web 1.9 or whatevs n00bs use.
First post: addressing RSK finally addressing transsexual men with their comedy
_teh raving imp

Recommending some "Black Books"

2009-01-11T16:01:00.008-06:00

BERNARD BLACK

"I had to go along with all this reclusive genius stuff. She's going to be very upset when she finds out I'm a reclusive wanker!"

Started watching the show "Black Books" [sharetv Page]. Great odd comedy about three people and a bookshop, don't like that they go for laugh track (or live studio stuff). Great characters, alot of Englishness, drunkenness, and literary insanity.

PB download link [as always, I will seed as long as people are visiting this page. usual offer of technical help via im or email

Loads of stills:

_-=[raving impomaniac]

Cc: Funny or Die UK Writers' Opportunity

2009-01-09T10:33:00.004-06:00

Dear Zhura Members,

In advance of Monday's joint press release by Zhura and Funny or Die UK, we're extremely excited to bring you news of a collaboration that's been in the works for some time.

Google Chrome logoOn January 12th, Zhura, the global leader in online screenwriting, and Funny or Die UK, Europe's fastest growing video comedy site, will announce an initiative redefining the phenomenon of User Generated Entertainment. Going beyond soliciting video content for its online video library, Funny or Die UK will tap Zhura's global pool of aspiring writers for sketch comedy content. In the spirit of our You Wrote It, Live events at Boston's Improv Asylum, Zhura's writer-members will have an opportunity to write and submit sketch comedy scripts for consideration by Funny or Die UK's head writers.

little britainLaunched in September 2008, the UK sister to the wildly successful Funny or Die combines the very best of stateside content with a growing library of homegrown clips, including exclusive new sketches and a weekly blog from "Little Britain" duo Matt Lucas and David Walliams.

As with the US site, Funny or Die UK invites aspiring comedians and sketch writers to upload video clips that are viewed by the site's community who vote: "Funny" or "Die". AND NOW, thanks to a collaboration between the two companies, aspiring comedy writers can submit WRITTEN SKETCHES to Zhura's "Funny or Die UK" group for production consideration by the fastest growing online comedy brand.

The team at Funny or Die UK will monitor the sketches being created online at Zhura and will produce any sketches they feel would be a popular addition to their site. They'll also encourage amateur production teams to scour Zhura for sketches they can produce and upload to the UK website.

James Serafinowicz, Creative Director, Funny or Die UK offered the following quote in our joint press release, "Since Zhura launched earlier this year, I've been a devoted user and unofficial promoter of the site. I'm so excited about this partnership. Zhura's brilliant writing software coupled with Funny or Die UK's production expertise will hopefully give aspiring comedy writers a helping hand in securing work in the industry." To hear more from Serafinowicz, check out our home page where you'll find his video message to Zhura Members.

James Serafinowicz

How It Works

· To be considered for production, members must write their sketches in Zhura's Public Group Folder titled "Funny or Die UK".

· All material considered by the head writers at FOD UK must be licensed under the Creative Commons "BY-SA" license, which allows FOD UK, or any other production crew, the ability to produce the script.

· This is currently an open-ended writing event at Zhura, which will likely continue as long as FOD UK continues to find new, funny and "useable" material.

Call To Action

It's fair to say that this announcement to Zhura members is a call to action. Zhura is committed to bringing its members "reasons to write" -- however, this will only continue to be possible if members participate in the collaborations and events as they're delivered. Whether sketch comedy is "your thing" or you'd just like to give it try......whether you write alone or you need to gather your team....whether your interest is writing, editing, offering creative input or constructive feedback.......now's the time. The folks at Funny Or Die UK need to find some original, quality, usable material in their Zhura folder sooner, rather than later.

A Final Thought

At Zhura, we believe that the Internet is just starting to demonstrate the powerful potential it has to change the way entertainment is created. By giving our members -- writers and storytellers -- a stage from which they can access professional production and distribution channels, we expect that the quality and depth of User Generated Entertainment will rise to a level never-before seen. It all starts here with Zhura and Funny Or Die UK. The stage is yours, let's make it together.

Happy New Year to you all,

Eric MacDonald
and the Zhura Team

------------------

Finally something that the truly singular reason I have to bitch about it is cuz I'm not doing it and couldshould be. bring it bitches!
ravingimperz

New Ricky Gervais Audiobook: Karl on Medicine

2008-12-27T16:17:00.004-06:00

Released on December 23, 2008, the latest installment of The Ricky Gervais show has hit Pirate Bay. This part one of what will be a four part series; this version is called "Medicine". It's your job to spread to other torrent sites, as PB is my fave. Two times in a row, I'm the first to post the new release on PB. w00t me. hooray head like a fucking orange!!!!!!

That address again: http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4604745

_THE REALLY RAVING IMP

Hawt Flixsterers Part Deux

2008-12-24T02:23:00.010-06:00

There are so many of you! So I've sent out my "I'm writing stuff bout you on me blog" comments to all the flixster writers that I (currently) intend on eventually listing in this feature, mostly as a pact between me and them that I will get my lazy ass around to posting all of them.

When I did the first post, I added then took away the tag "new media". Here's the reason I took it away: I'm talking about people who are viewing and analyzing what is still "proper film and movies". But here's why I wanted to add it: I don't think the next generation will have a Roger Ebert, Gene Shalit, and Leonard Maltin. Sorry Mr. Maltin, but I do believe CHUD.com and its kin are the future (reference to the movie Heckler). Just as distribution and format are shifting into a new frontier, so is criticism. It's all headed to forums and blogs and databases. Will a truly accomplished reviewer still publish the occasional compilation? I sure damn hope so! But the everyday task of "what do I watch tonight?" will no longer rest on what the guy on channel 6 or the "Arts" section in the paper says; that power of influence now belongs to the net, where you can very easily choose which film "experts" you trust, and these people needn't bother with the politics of compliance with mainstream media standards to voice their thoughts. Flixsterers are the generals for the new army of "everyone is a critic", in a world where the norm is for everyone in the audience to instantly text in a review immediately after screening a film on release day. We will weed through the flame wars on forums and the posts for ad revenue to dig out the most concise and intelligent ways of appraising a film. And we will keep film, definitely NOT new media, ALIVE in a world which is quickly shifting to new media for its profits.

So my fellow flixsterers, you are all heroes, and the viewing audience NEEDS your input to stay the path of true cinema when there is so much rubbish littering the theaters and instant watch sites.

To the viewing masses, these are the dedicated souls whom you may trust for guidance on your many odd paths to entertainment and celluloidal enlightenment.

This post's flixsterers (remember I've nominated yall for the "Super Reviewer" program so if they haven't given you that badge yet, I'd like to know and will do my damndest to see you get yours):

William Sleet - mckittrick is a pure cinephile

Whyz: I just plain love this guy. He's a film enthusiast with few peers in terms of his astute observation and analysis of detail and love for genuinely great cinema. If you're a cinephile on Flixster yourself, you'll do well to add him as he often posts brilliant replies in the "Conversations" section (which is a member-only cultish feature of Flixster). For his segment, I'm including his entire review of Irreversible which I believe wholly expresses everything that needs to be said about the film.

Segment
Irreversible
***Spoiler warning*** It's rather difficult to talk about Irreversible without giving things away.

There are many great examples of the 'non-linear narrative' style of film-making. In fact, two of the greatest films ever made are prime examples of this: The multiple flash-backs of 'Citizen Kane' and the different character viewpoints of the events of 'Rashomon'. Film-makers as revered as Godard, Bergman, Fellini, Alain Resnais, Robert Altman and Nicolas Roeg have all made this style of film-making their own. A lot of directors working today, such as Stephen Soderberg, Paul Thomas Anderson, Darren Aronofsky, Christopher Nolan, Wong Kar-wai, Gus Van Sant, Richard Linklater, Quentin Tarentino (most notably with Pulp Fiction) and of course David Lynch - who often tries the patience of his audience with his seemingly random jumble of plot strands. These film-makers know that it doesn't have to be 'beginning, middle and end' and they exploit this idea to the hilt. Quite often with astonishing and rewarding results. It can enrich and deepen our perception of, what is sometimes quite a straight-forward story - making us examine it in a different, maybe more profound way. It also can make a film seem original and ground-breaking when in fact they are, quite often, at best, pastiching ideas from other film-makers and at worst simply stealing them (Tarentino anyone??). But I don't think I had seen a film go (literally) backwards before I saw Memento. It starts with the end of the story, going backwards a scene at a time until we get to the beginning of the story. The reasoning was partly a plot devise and partly so we empathise more with the character's problems with memory: It's a jigsaw puzzle of a murder mystery that begins with a murder and we go back in time to discover the motivations and reasons behind the death. Along the way we discover he has the memory of a goldfish (almost!) - forgetting everything after a short period of time, making everything a renewed experience for our hero as it is for us, the audience. Unfortunately the film doesn't stand up to more than a couple of viewings. Once we have the answers there's not a lot to come back for. The same is true with 'The Prestige' and 'The Usual Suspects'.

Now we have 'Irreversible'. On a superficial level, it seems unoriginal - using the same device as Memento of a backwards moving narrative to discover the events leading up to a murder. But with rather different intentions and certainly more profound results. It worked for Christopher Nolan but it has more emotional depth and purpose here.

Irreversible is a grueling and extremely troubling film that not only tests our patience and stomachs but our sense of morality and empathy too as it literally forces us to endure the hellish events of the characters on screen. Right from the start, we are plunged, unflinchingly, into the hellish events of it's protagonists. Though calling it unflinching would be a massive understatement.

The film opens with a camera rolling and undulating through the air. We see a building, it's windows and bricks coming and going into shot. Seemingly random and without reason. And then we move into a room within the building. In it are two men, one naked and one clothed, talking. The room is lighted with a harsh yellow light that makes the walls and, consequently the men, look kind of greasy and damp. Instead of light that cleanses, here it seems to be exposing something unclean and corrupt. The camera carries on moving in and out, rolling and undulating. Like someone drunk or high. It has a disconcerting affect and I'm still not sure of the reasoning behind it - are we being put off guard in some way maybe? Are we being reminded that we are watching? I already had in mind the opening sequence of Psycho. Except, in that film, we are less aware of the camera, as it smoothly tracks across the city skyline and straight through the window into the bedroom of the illicit lovers. But here, we are constantly reminded of the camera. Made less comfortable in our voyeurism if you like. This devise is carried on through to the next scene as the camera seems to move out the window and we observe the events going on outside. This is really where the story begins (ends?). From this point on, the film - and accordingly, the camera - becomes much more frenetic and disturbing. The scene prior, feels more of a prologue - almost soporific in feel (despite the subject of their discussion!) It gives us a clue as to how we'll feel by the end of the film, as one character says "time destroys all things". But before we can get to the end (beginning?) we have Hell to contend with!

A dizzying and very disturbing montage of shots and sounds - entwined bodies, grunts and groans, whip cracks, the flash of an erect penis, heads bobbing, men wanking etc - hurtles us headlong into the goings on in an S&M nightclub. The story has now begun to move backwards and we are plunged straight into what is, undoubtedly, the most realistically explicit (simulated) murder ever put on film. Totally unflinching - there's no camera turning away here. It's up to us to turn away. It's our choice. I strongly suspect, this is where a lot of people began to leave the cinema. That's their loss.

Ironically, as the story progresses (regresses?), we realise this scene requires us to pay more attention than we realise. Or feel comfortable with! Especially when we discover who the real villain is in this story!

From this scene on, the story carries on backwards. The frenetic camera going into overdrive - at one point seemingly see-sawing in and out of a closed car window for example. It's disconcerting of course but totally necessary. A static camera would have had a relaxing effect that wouldn't have felt right and I think we'd empathise less.

When we first see Monica Bellucci as Alex we only see her from behind. The camera stays with her all the time. Not cutting away. We HAVE to stay with her. The camera tells us we are not gonna leave her. We can't (there is only a brief cutaway as the camera quickly looks to the subway sign and back at Monica) We follow her down to the subway and straight away we know it will happen here - in the subway. Just like the nightclub, the subway is blood red. Just as Pierre and Marcus descended into Hell when they entered the nightclub, so now has Alex in the subway.

I am still in two minds as to how necessary I feel it was for the rape to be so utterly unflinching and relentless. During the attack, for the first time in the film, the camera is static. It's at Alex's level throughout. Not just encouraging our empathy but forcing us to endure the assault with her. It's the most draining and upsetting piece of cinema I have ever seen (excepting the real-life events depicted in the Russian film 'Come and See'). But the violence that is inflicted on Alex AFTER the rape was a push too far for me. We have already gone through the rape with her - the tears and the knot in my stomach are testament to that - so the violent assault that followed, seemed, not just redundant but felt a bit like rubbing our faces in it. Up till we see Alex for the first time the camera hasn't stopped moving - jumping about, undulating and swaying, seeming to move straight through car windows. But during the rape, as I said, the camera has been static - at Alex's level. We empathise with her so completely we go through the assault with her. It's a draining and deeply upsetting scene that tests our tolerance levels to the limit. (I can totally relate to those that walked out of the cinema at this point). Then the makers simply cross the line. Just when we think it is over the violence resumes, and at one point the POV changes from Alex to us, the audience. The camera swiftly and very obviously moves around the protagonists as if to 'get a better look' at her face as it is pummelled on the ground. It's a deeply unpleasant moment that actually reminds us of what we are - an audience. We may think we are empathising but we are still watching. Just like the men who watch the murder in the nightclub, they do nothing and simply enjoy the spectacle. Unlike the stranger that wonders into the background and walks off doing nothing to help, we are worse - we stay and watch. I felt a bit of deja-vu here and was reminded of Haneke's 'Funny Games'. A film so totally devoid of humanity it disturbs me immensely that it has been given the Hollywood make-over.

But the film's final half hour gives us what Haneke's vile little film didn't. Not only relief but humanity.

From this moment on the film becomes a cleansing experience. As time goes ever further backwards - before the murder, before the rape - we see the characters how they were - happy, normal, in love, looking forward to the future. The backwards narrative begins to have a healing effect. Cleansing if you like. For the characters but more so for us, the abused and battered audience! Those that left the cinema during the murder or the rape miss the relief these scenes give us. It would seem that they are left only with the horror.

The scenes that come after the rape (precede the story) become brighter and far less frenetic. I have to say the scene of the lovers, Marcus and Alex, naked and bathed in a warm orange glow, are some of the most beautiful and natural (and sexy!) I have seen in a film. It made me weep. Maybe part of it was because of it's cleansing quality? It really feels like a couple happy and in love. Totally comfortable with each other.

The film culminates in the shots of Alex, alone, at turns looking radiant and at peace, holding her stomach - her unformed, unborn child. We can imagine that as the story has gone backwards that maybe the hellish events never happened. Or, in some way, we have been purged. After all, it's only a film! And this IS the end really. Not the beginning. The closing shot of Alex, lying in a park, reading the book she mentioned earlier that she can't finish ("the future is already written") is almost Technicolor in look and how it makes us feel. The camera rolls away and over the lawn as children run in and out of shot, playing on the grass. The screen is filled with the a wonderful bright green from the grass. Green being the most calming and relaxing of colours (the reason it's used so much in hospitals). The screen fades to white, completing the cleansing theme. It's a truly beautiful moment. Can we relax? Not quite.

There is Beethoven on the soundtrack (a composer who alludes to 'fate knocking at the door' in his music) to remind us and the camera begins spinning wildly round and round as it did at the beginning of the film above the ambulances outside the nightclub. And when the screen goes white, it's not quite the cleansing white we need but a kind of grey that then begins to flicker wildly like a strobe light reminding, in case we get too comfortable of the hell that has gone before and in effect is to come for the protagonists.

The final shot is of the words "time destroys all things". It is a bit like hammering the message home but maybe we need it after being battered and beaten with such horrific imagery as the first half of 'Irreversible'!

Specialty: highlights films that successfully reach beyond their grasp, and very precisely explains how these films achieve this feat

-

Cinenationing - can detect pulse in the undead

Whyz: In addition to sharing my passionate objectivity of extreme cinema, Cinenationing does something important that many reviewers do not do (and boldy exclaims it on his profile): he rates/judges a film within the context of its genre. He keeps his reviews concise and direct, and is very prolific in adding reviews.

Segments:

Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom
Upon further analysis, I've decided that "Salo," despite its relatively "shocking" contents, is quite powerful. The allegory manifested in its unadulterated state, alone, lifts this above other kitsch. Even with pedophilia, urinary sex, coprophagy, etc., this fascist retelling provides great cinematography, twisted humor, and a great ending, summing up the few moments of pureness and converting them into what ever you would expect from irreligious regimes. But did Pasolini really deserve to die after some innocuous philosophizing? (Rhetorical...)
____________________________________________________
I was finally able to get the highly under appreciated score from this movie, composed by Morricone, on Youtube. It's addicting to listen to (Which, coincidentally, ties in with the movie's message): Salo Opening Title

Dead Ringers
Incredible stuff from Cronenberg. I think it's the best film of his that I've seen. He takes subtle, taboo subjects and just buries them under unique ones. The complexity of this film has enough layers to confuse the casual movie goer as well as the art house movie watcher. Plus, the innovative use of one talented actor taking on two roles with brilliant, realistic effects is amazing! It's unfortunate that it has an ending that won't really satisfy all but I recommend this film if you like dramas with enough strange themes and concepts. A 'twin' film done right. Beats De Palma's messy film in every way.

Specialtiez: extreme and exploitation, Criterion Collection, queer cinema, arthouse and craphouse

---
Just the two for brevity, this post. Most of the other people I want to post write LONG reviews and I have few "mini-review" writers to cushion them, so future posts of "Hawt Flixsterers" may only be of one person.

the RAVING imp

DEAD SET hits US Torrent Sites: Review 'n Linkage

2008-12-21T20:19:00.018-06:00

I don't know how long it's been on other sites, but this just hit Pirate Bay on Dec 18th (and I used to check for the show while it was airing). Anyways, this is the whole series so no piece by piece. Set some time aside as it's around 144 mins.
Show's Page on ShareTV.org
Official E4 Website for show (may still be streaming full episodes too) The site is actually calm and normalized now, but I remember when it was crazy viral and cooler (Use the WAYBACK machine at archive.org if you really want to see it, can't be bothered doin all the lookin fer ya)
Below is the by-episode breakdown analysis with many spoilers. I have an alternate edit on this blog's blog which is structured differently but the same content.
Episode 1
-Part 1
Cut it. Skip it. Totally don't need it. Some flimsy plots that won't matter in 15 minutes anyway (when every1 is massacred by ZOMBIAESXZ!!!!), but the cute queer dances about in panties and lace and a sexy bra, so that was worth it.
-Part 2
I know from part one that this crew/director is aware of steadicam, so why aren't they using it?!?!? Okay, so Danny Boyle can do shaky handheld on running zombies and still make it scary - you guys really can't. For this show, it just means that the director couldn't be bothered with setting up the shot, and the makeup is plenty good (at moments) to be filmed with well.....technique... I really don't know how else to describe how much this show, like most of the horror strain overwhelming current market, doesn't understand how to use handheld shot, where to place them, how to edit around them, how to just simply film them, how to build to them, how to justify them - and this lack of execution is so severe that it really should have never been done in the first place. Film proper shots and get tagged as the B movie you are with pride intact, don't do something pretentious and awful like this. [Sorry, this suddenly turned into a "Fuck Cloverfield!" rant] Still, I just wished the whole part (and show) would be more filmed like the tracking shot in the control room. On the good side, the sound is tops in the last scene, truly scary-effective.
-Part 3
The good thing here is that the illusion of being in a "Big Brother" world is quickly shattered, and you realize that the alive characters are really just a few doors - or ONE WALL - from the chaos and danger.
-Part 4
I can tolerate the low light level but up that contrast for fuksake! AGAIN with the (unsuccessful) Danny Boyle rips. "No fuckin camera. There's no fuckin' point!" I am liking the dialogue and self-conscious digs at reality TV, as I thought they were too contrived in earlier Parts. To reference Uncyclopedia, "Additionally, while not immediately related to film, "Breaking the Fifth Wall" refers to string theory as it applies to film plots, especially Independent films, where, should the cognitive abilities of the writer allow, expansive plots are tied together in inscrutable fashions to obscure plot-holes." zombies in wheelchairs chasing greasy producers - fawk yeh! They still can't get those blood colors right, really shows in the bathroom scene (more zombiewheelin! - I hallucinated it happened twice coz I were jumpin around the edit). zomg Peppa's alive! Great fire extinguisher smash head scene (best in history is in the film Irreversible).

Episode 2
-Part 1
Reference to Let Sleeping Corpses Lie with the wifi joke. "Does this mean we're not on telly anymore?" / don't shoot "I'm a normalite!" / "Are you sure that was one of those things?" "No."
-Part 2
worked well to eating homemade rice crispies treats with chocolate

Episode 3
-Part 1
cops always suck. Zombies arrive conveniently for the plot movement.
-Part 2
I's rather be in the Big Brother house than trapped in the room with a guy crapping.

Episode 4
-Part 1
"This place used to be like a church to them." - shitty Dawn allusion. That isn't a half submerged body, and who the fuck forgot the "meet me halfway" rule?
-Part 2
It's true - the zombie apocalypse is a grand equalizer of human life. zomg bald zombie running through the intentionally shallow location - whack wit an axe quick! Come on - I wants to see how u kill a person who will turn but hasn't yet with just an axe and one swing. Treading on cliche with the judgment day crap.flash - great ending.

Episode 5
-Part 1
He didn't know bout the Gollum thing?
-Part 2
wtf? I guess mentals are more dangerous than zombies. A bit West Side Story, innit? Nice Capt. Rhodes tribute - "I've got fuckin' bowels full of shit - Eat it!" One helluva season of Big Brother.

-the reavin imp

Hawt Flixsterers

2008-12-19T04:30:00.012-06:00

So to celebrate Flixster.com's new Super Reviewer program (and my inclusion in it), I'm gonna share some other top flixsterers with you.* Flixster has impacted what films I watch and how I watch them. Besides gazillions of great recommendations, I get a hot thrill from visiting a movie's page right after I've watched it. I love seeing my immediate thoughts mirrored and highlighted by the words of others; it's proof of transcendentalism, methinks. And of course, I love to chuck my bit in, and sometimes will play off what other reviewers have said. Sometimes, all the meaty stuff I had to say has already been said and to complete satisfaction, which is great because it saves me the time and effort of writing it. Flixsterers are also always good for factual production details and often are familiar with the career arcs of a piece's primary creators, so pieces are easily contextualized in the flixster community.

Anyways, this is good because it jobs blog input and because these writer/viewers/analysts/current-wave-of-proper-indie-critics have some genuinely articulate and thoughtful insights on a range of interesting films. From a group of users I submitted for Super Reviewer awards, Three for the books, and why I picked 'em:

Veronique - groaningbitch: I'm a raving imp, so I'm gonna just adore a groaning bitch; it's like the reverse fag hag syndrome, natural and reaffirming in purpose.
Whyz:Ever watch a movie and think, "What's the big trendy pseudo-intellectual word for that and also its true academic counter part? How do micro- and macro- work again? Damn, am I gonna hafta look all this up?!?!?" No, because you can just read groaningbitch's reviews and she will arrange all of these exact words in a flow of pure reflective and analytical statements. Job done for you - throw in a few fluff words and use these for your next film term paper.

Segments: Hitchcock's The 39 Steps (1935)

the protype of hitchcockian action piece outsets since 39 steps with our debonair gorgeous robert donat as the wrongly accused innocent man who is forced to expose conspiracy to retrieve his integrity. it proves a theory of hitchcock's that the potentiality of a man could be enlightened under the enormous pressure, such as the scene donat is propelled to lecture a political speech then obtain the public affinity.

the first 20 mins is intriguing with the brief cameo of beautiful german spy called annabella smith who takes shelter in hanny's lodge(donat) that is arranged with taunting mystery. then annabella is assinated that drives hanny to clarify his murder charge. so he stumbles from place to place in various british and scottish landscapes. he hasn't made any concrete progress until he meets the combatively quarrelsome blonde pamela played by madelein carroll.

the best distinguished hitchcockian action pattern is the harmony of genders. lots of his action pieces have a pair of man and woman collaborated to confront mighty crisis, such as his rear window, north by northwest, the man who knew too much, the lady vanishes...etc. here he even wittily has the two leads tied in one handcuff as their feuds and concilliation. when man's being doubted, he remains in good humor of suave demeanor then he gains the confidance of the woman. it's so called hitchcockian symmetry of opposite sexes. none of his flicks are throughly testicular or estrogenic.

of course, the ingredient of hitchcokian mcguffin is firstly brought out here in 39 steps, the macguffin in this flick would be "mr. memory" in london musical hall. the thrill doesn't reply on the content of the macguffin but the speculating suspense upon it. such as you never knew what kind of big secret those agents are exploring in "notorious", either. but you enjoy the teasing process of its espials anyway.

madeleine carroll is the first hitchcockian icy blonde who matches adaptably with robert donat from their brawling discord under a handcuff to their deux of clasping hands at the last shot.

Specialties: dis bitch is right at home groaning in the realm of cinema before technicolor ripped an aesthetic chasm in the art form. Feel like a noir, just the right good Joan Crawford flick, or an authentic and charged literary adaptation? Check groaningbitch 's flixster profile for the skinny, the score, the word on the deal.
-
El Hombre Invisible - drbenway first caught my attention with a string of reviews on Miike films.

Whyz:always good for succinct and dead-on recs of more obscure and weird picks

Segments: The Bird People in China (1998)

Those who know Japanese cult director Takashi Miike only through his shock and gore films, such as Ichi the Killer and Audition which are both absolute classics of the genre, will be in for a surprise with The Bird People of China. Bird People stands as absolute proof that, although Miike will likely always be best known for his more extreme films, the man has a surprising degree of depth to him and is more than capable of turning out world class serious film.

It's the sort of film that stands out in any director's filmography, but even more in Miike's catalog. It shows his versatility while telling a story, and focuses highly on visuals with characters who are full of depth and humor, built upon layer by layer, emotionally drained one by one and built back together in one film. Of all of Miike's dramas I have seen, it's the best and says so much for him as a director that it shouldn't be missed. If you consider yourself an admirer of Takashi Miike, there's no excuse for missing this film.
Specialtys: Takashi Miike, J-horror, war films, foreign

_
Dean - Camus123 actually still goes to theatres, like regularly. As in, a lot of his viewing isn't of an R5 screener on a 17" laptop or a VHS hooked to a tube TV or a 1000kbps stream playing on ur FEMA plasma; he goes to real movie theatres just like the bulk of audiences in film history.

whyz: Okay, everyone knows I'm an indie muthafucka and have the Cecil B. Demented attitude. If I touch that Hollywood rubbish, it's too greasy and crunchy and bland to just bite into, I need a mama-bird figure to gobble it up, masticate with matronly care for a lengthy time, and deliver in palatable sips to my weak and new baby bird throat - I was equipped with the fortitude to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall because of this man! He's also a diehard horror and thriller lover when all's said and done.

Segments:Run Fatboy Run
Simon Pegg steps out!
This was one of the most enjoyable rom-coms I have seen in a long time.
Admittedly, the writing was good, but the performances were great and that is what what made this movie for me. This was all in the execution.
I have always loved Hank Azaria and Thandie Newton. Simon Pegg is wonderful and it is great to see him stretching his legs (no pun intended) and taking on a new kind of role. Dylan Moran was also a joy.
This is the atypical telling of a typical story: Man in love loses gorgeous woman no one feels he ever deserved and now he is going to fight to get her back.
Good character development lends itself to viewer investment in the outcome and while there are a lot of predictable moments in this film it is still a joy watching them get there.
If you are a fan of the genre you will enjoy this. If you are a Simon Pegg fan you will love it.
Check it out.

Funny Games (2008) just to confirm, tis the remake

Michael Haneke remakes his own film from the original German to appeal to an American audience. Almost shot for shot this film is reproduced.
My question is...why?
The film depicts the sadistic torture of one family by two obviously affluent, well-schooled boys. They play "games" with the family and some very obvious mind games.
The acting is well-done. The sadistic youths are convincing in their roles. Tim Roth is always a joy to watch though his talents are wasted here as he was almost part of the scenery. Why he and Naomi Watts decided to take this project on is a mystery to me.
For those pseudo-bohemians that would say that this was an art house film making a commentary on sadism, morbid curiosity, and bad-breeding I say, "Wrong."
This was an almost interesting exercise in one Director's ego playing games with you the viewer.
The characters are thin, the plot is thin, the vehicle of talking to the camera is old, the notion of a blue-blood gone bad is old and it seems that Mr. Haneke is reaching for a concept that is simply beyond his own grasp.
The only thing that reaches out and really grabs the viewer is the level of sadism and the fact that this could possibly happen and happen in the home.
Want to watch a scary, true crime movie that takes place in the home? Watch "In Cold Blood." That was chilling.
Want to watch a film that starts nowhere and ends exactly where you know it will as well as being an exercise in "let's see how long we can draw this out before people start turning this 2-hour silliness off" then watch "Funny Games."
Mind you, this is coming from a psycho-thriller, horror fan.
This film is a bore and almost an insult.

Specialty: current major releases, romantic comedy, comic book superhero adaptations, the horror circuit

If you're on flixster and have sum peeps to nominate for super reviewer status, get yo ass to this linkage. I'll definitely do a few more of these as there are so many great film viewers I've met through flixster.
_the RAvinghst [;/'
...imp

*To people featured, I'm pretty lazy so I may not contact you before I post you in the blog. If you don't wanna be in da blog (and suffer the natural spike in entangled webosphere search results ranking linkage), just shoot me an email and set my bitchass straight.

Where I Am

2008-11-23T20:37:00.012-06:00

That's an open phrase, with many connotations. So many different wheres. But what I mean is that I've been spending loads of my time on this site: whirled. On my browser's BlogRovr widget, I read this blog about the site's launch which is a good concise intro to the site's concept. I've been playing loads of a particular game called Corpse Craft, which I found through the StumbleUpon addon to my browser. I liked the game's zombieish bent, and I've fallen into the whirled after getting the full version of Corpse Craft and having loads of coins to burn on virtual goods. I recently moved in real life and the amount of physical shit and crap I have is really unbelievable. At this rate, I will amass an Everest mountain of plastic and paper fashioned into fanboy goods by thirty years old. I need to sell it, and I haven't been able to afford it for a while, but I don't ever want to slip back into that. Physical ownership is a burden; one becomes RESPONSIBLE for those items. With responsibility, always comes stress. I want to have less shit, but I NEED to amass items that express my interest as a primal avaricious quality of my existence. So I'm trying out virtual ownership, something much of the world is getting into (look at Second Life and World of Warcraft alone), but through this most unusual of outlets: an entirely Flash-based structure. I am always astounded by what artists achieve in flash (just look at newgrounds) so though I would like more detail in a create-a-world, I often find choice to be crippling, and this may be a cool alternative. I really like what little "whirleds" I've made already. The only reason I'm blogging this is because their server is buggy.

My Main Zombie room, called 'Zombie Basement'
Since this post has been self-indulgent, here's some linkage to come cool zombie games (all flash based). Has anyone else noticed how prolific zombies are in the flash medium?
NewGrounds Zombie Collection of Movies and Games
Trivia on Zombie Movies feat. Peter Lorre pastiche
Another StumbleUpon find (that I could actually beat) that I really liked the art and execution(s). It's called 'The Last Stand' and it apparently has a sequel but I haven't played it yet.

I'll finally add a whirled linkage in me sidebar too. Oops look server's back up.

the RAVinG IMP3rS

Election Coverage: Were "They" Overtly Brainwashing?

2008-11-05T11:10:00.005-06:00

Even though I promised in my last political post that I wouldn't make it a regular thing, I must know the answer to this query.

I was watching NBC last night for 2008 election coverage of the United States presidency and other gubernatorial elections, and a commercial blew me away: Words interspersed with logo images on the screen, not exact but paraphrased what I recall, "There will be no vote (or voting)" ("There will be") "ONLY KINGS"; logo emerges, it is of a total of six wings, three to each side, golden, raised upwards.

Has or did anyone else see/seen this commercial? What the fuck is it?!?!? Did I just imagine this Illuminati promotional bullshit? I pray I did. I must find this commercial and uncover its origins and declared intended purpose.

The Ravcingst Imp WANTS to Kn0!

The IMP is DOT COMMED, Bi-atch!

2008-11-04T00:31:00.003-06:00

Point your bookmarks to impraving.com because it is 4 teh real NOW!!!!

THERAVINGIMP of impraving.com

Life as a Zombie: Night 3

2008-10-19T01:07:00.007-05:00

So last night I was right knackered, didn't do this post, so I now have much bloggage to tend to.

Makeup artist from Night 1 did the bulk of this job, artist from Night 2 did the blood and gave me black paint for my teeth (which you can see in only a few pics). I took my FAVE pics so far of me as a zombie wandering about me apartment complex, which I will eventually re-touch, but for now they're un-photoshopped and kick off the typical slideshow.

Things that annoyt me: No blood yet. My feet ataroundabouton two hours in. Wondering if the tooth paint would eventually annoy me (it didn't). Realizing that a new (and pretty successful) pose/act I had concocted of rising from a still position on the floor was making my hands caked with dust/dirt and knees achy. To be honest, this was the least annoying day (I think I was oddly outgoing and un-anxious throughout the night, in addition to a pretty constant enthusiasm).

Best scare(s): Had another group that got wedged in the hallway again, that's always fun. A man with the physique of a linebacker was whimpering and scared VERY easily (so of course I did the special follow 'em down the hall). Was trying my new act out and scared every member of a large group - the first people were had by the "is that a person?" when I moved, two grinning cooler-headed people chimed in went "oh yeah! a zombie!" and "BRAINS!!!", the next bunch got wide-eyed and nervous at my moan and commented on my rising "ohmigawd LOOK!!!", and the remaining cluster of about five teenagers gripping each other in a conga fear line fled down the hallway screaming like bullets once I finally got to my feet; of course, I did them the favor of following them down the hall and got screams the whole time (which allowed for the cooler-headed people at the front to be jumpscared by my fellow zombies down the hall).

THE raving IMPage

Life as a Zombie: Night 2

2008-10-17T00:29:00.006-05:00

I'm getting on really well with the other people in my area and it is truly a collaborative effort. I also got meself a hand to gnaw on, which has been an invaluable prop. So here's the makeup for tonight; my artist tonight had a smaller palette than the previous night's artist, so considering she was only working with five not very zombie colors, I think it was a decent job, and she was so cool that she found me later and to tell me she had improved some new techniques from working on other zombies all night (I was her first zed head).

Things that annoyt me tonight: That we didn't have the blood ready yet so I had to go with just some spot action. Three guys around my age were doing that "I'm not really scared so let me insult the cast to prove it" bullshit; their way of emoting fear is not what I prefer to keep my energy up, but at least I can sit with the silent satisfaction that they were probably the most afraid group of the night. Two of my fellow haunters reported that one guest threatened multiple cast members with a punch by cocking his fist at them. One of the stage managers bitched out all the cast on the porch for not being in makeup, even though no one had yet announced cast call (the building is equipped with loudspeakers).

Thing that scared me shitless: My ride home left without me; that was the pit of fear, but some other peeps went out of their way to get me home. We had more cops around tonight than workers and customers (cops always freak me out, and I notice that the NOPD likes to brag about their "incidents of enforcement" to the cast).

Best scare of the night: A group of three started flipping out and tried to rush down my hall before I could get to my alcove, and with my mighty fatness in such a minor hallway, they were stuck screaming right next to me for a good five seconds. Also, a middle-aged guy whimpered "Don't follow me" a few times right when he passed me, so of course I did follow him all the way down the hall.

the RAVING imp

Life as a Zombie: Night 1

2008-10-15T22:49:00.007-05:00

Right so I'm temporarily a tax-paying citizen through November, as I've landed a gig at New Orleans' best haunted experience The Mortuary as a zombie. Tonight was my first night, and through the season that's what most of my posts will be: pictures of me as a zombie and insights into the industry of fear.

Here's my makeup job from tonight

Things that annoyt me tonight: People who try to cover that they're "not scared" by talking to me and unleashing a comment they think snippy and clever; these people just throw me off character and pulls down my energy for the next person in line. People who bring through kids that are old enough to walk but do not exceed three feet tall. I think toddlers and babies (I saw two tonight and it was just our house rehearsal) can't distinguish "scary" or "frightening" because of where they're at developmentally and because they're probably more concerned about shitting their diaper than some maniac kid howling at 'em. Pre-teen and early teens is alright, because you're old enough to be proper scared, but young enough to still be a bit traumatized. I think it's a rare kid in the two to twelve demographic who can tolerate a haunted house without lingering trauma from it, and I don't care if their parents are clinging to 'em - that just makes me more hesitant to scare them. I also have corn syrup blood stuck in me hair and stickied me shirt (which is the one I plan on using all season) because the proper stage blood wasn't ready for tonight so we had to opt for the sticky stuff. Apparently, makeup gets up your nose as well as powder stuck in your ears. Too many people like the Saw movies.

Best scare of the night: We've got an animatronic zombie who eats bricks right next to my hall; we've called him Charlie. A guy was stopped in front of it to show it to the baby he was holding. Even though I was right next to 'em, the dad or baby didn't see me, but the mum starting screaming like a mental case and trying to alert her husband and baby of me. The baby and man weren't phased, and he sort of like shoved the baby in my face to scare it when he noticed me. Meanwhile, the wife was still screamin her head off. If I were a real zombie, I woulda had me some babay meat tonight.

the RAVING IMP

Karl Promotes His Book

2008-10-08T04:57:00.008-05:00

If you check out Karl's blog, you'll see he's been up to loads: watching bees wrestle, choppin onions on some cookin show, doin all the chores while Suzanne's sick, going to an internet cafe because his power was out, dealing with Ricky's antics, and he finally got someone to fix his boiler!
Here's Karl's real brain scan which he posted on his blog as well:

Also, regarding LBUSA, Vicky Pollard has finally arrived in Americur or sumethin or nuffan, Sebastien declared his love for the US President, and Bubbles bared it all!

To celebrate Vicky's arrival, here's one of my fave sketches from the original show where she appears on Trisha (the UK version of Maury, Jerry Springer, etc.)

T3h RAVING imp

Filmroll: 'Mirrors' and 'Midnight Meat Train'

2008-10-05T00:13:00.010-05:00

Good news for Aja and Levasseur fans: MIRRORS has been leaked! It is the R5 (click link for more detailed definition of 'R5', but it basically means it is a Region 5 coded disc, released in Russia, before the DVD hits Region 1, North America). The version I got was an OPTiC release with a sync of English audio from the TS release, which the audio has a low pitched buzz as a result. No clue if there is a release with better audio; this was more than fine quality for me until the DVD releases stateside. Feel free to peruse the PB search results for a different version.

Here is a repost of my Flixster review, which says all I need to say about MIRRORS:

I regret NOT going to see this at the movies, that the reviews got to me, because this is actually damn good.

Remakes are never a good idea, but Aja and Levasseur prove again that if a studio insists on doing it, HIRE AJA. The diamond duo of modern gore showed that they could handle an era remake with "The Hills Have Eyes" and here they prove that they are also suited to adapting new Asian wave.

Keifer Sutherland is the weak point of the film, often lapsing into Jack Bauer mode and overacting. He sort of goes mental with the gun brandishing and frequent shooting (no wonder his character was kicked from the police force) to the extent that it does become silly (especially shooting the mirrors in the front yard).

DP Maxime Alexandre deserves a medal for his work here, as we have some dead-on shots into these mirrors and as Alexandre commented, "When you receive a script called 'Mirrors', it's a cinematographer's nightmare". The art direction is astounding and the department store is beautifully decayed.

There is undoubtedly a constant sense of tension created by this movie, and though I didn't fall for any of the jumpscares, I thought they were handled very well in that they weren't made over-obvious by the score. I found myself constantly checking the screen for reflective surfaces that could be potential antagonists, and on that level, the movie is extremely successful at giving inanimate objects intimidating and creepy qualities.

The final sequence is particularly astounding and I thought the demonic nun WAS scary and such an awesome makeup job, though many thought this final sequence was absurd and "ruined the movie".

The two biggest gore scenes were a bit ruined by putting them on the internet for advertisement (a shot from one is above), as the surprise was removed. So if you haven't yet seen the "red band" trailers (or any trailer), DON'T and I believe you will enjoy this film more.

SO much better than mainstream critics AND horror fans have labeled it. Aja and Levasseur aren't breaking new ground here, like they did with Haute Tension, but they ARE making great horror, which is astoundingly rare these days for a major studio release.

____________________________

Horror fans will be THRILLED to know that the R5 of Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train has finally been released with English audio and hit the bigger interwebs yesterday. Previously, all one could get was the Russian audio dub with Spanish subtitles, but now it looks like someone has done some English subs. I downloaded this version which looks astounding in video quality, but according to comments, there are a few bits where the audio is out of sync and this torrent claims to have resynched them. I haven't yet watched the former and haven't downloaded the latter, so I cannot verify how serious the sync claims are.

THERAVINGIMP

Little Britain Hits the Big U.S.A - But Will We Get It?

2008-09-29T21:07:00.007-05:00

America is a land aplenty when it comes to repetitive sketch shows, so what makes Matt Lucas and David Walliams think their show is an exception? Why the Britishry, of course.

As an American who abhors American comedy and looks to the UK for my funny, I've been familiar with Little Britain for quite some time and have seen all the series. Note to Netflixers: Series 1 and 2 are now available on 'Instant Watch', so there's no excuse! When we started discussing this on Pilkipedia, I was the among the most positive, with this summation of the original show:

I think the main reason I like LB is the emphasized Britishness of it. If these guys were Americans doing the same premise but "Little USA" it would quickly be the most tiresome sketch show. For an American super interested in British culture like me, LB can be a great self-satire to get you acquainted to the various accents and local lingo of associated regions across the UK, though it's got at best 10% replay value comedically. Tons of people I know are reluctant to watch UK stuff because they can't grapple accents or know common sayings (esp Irish stuff is quite tough to my ear and I think I'm pretty good at learning colloquialisms). Once you know all of what Vicky Pollard is sayin, "Shameless" is a cake walk to decipher.

So.... Little Britain: good for eager ignorant Americans/other English speaking non-Englanders that can tolerate gratuitous comedic repetition.....and yet they're making more (and more agonizingly the SAME jokes)

The Premiere - Sunday September 28
After having seen the first episode, I am little more positive, and full of the giddy one gets after seeing a fave character (even if it is for the umpteenth time).

Well, we can't get rid of Lou and Andy. Paraplegic-pretend Andy Pipkin and his saintly, clueless caretaker Lou Todd are obvious exports for the show, though I stopped finding them funny after Series 1. Lou and Andy continue their string of shit holidays with a visit to the Mississippi Gulf Coast, which they should have asked me about first.

I am glad though that Carol Beer has made the visa list and will be here to annoy our citizenry with her outstanding dedication to customer care. Of course, I am in another minority here, as most viewers quickly sicken of "Computer says NOOOO." I'm sure the same amount of LB familiars are equally pleased as I am displeased that Marjorie Dawes and Fat Fighters will be making the pond hop as well, as her first sketch with Rosie O'Donnell is identical to the sketch with Vanessa Feltz on the original British show. We have yet to see how Sebastien's sketches will unfold, but I do think it too incredulous, even for a broad sketch show, that he be the Prime Minister.

I was worried about the American characters Walliams and Lucas would come up with, as the American public hates nothing more than being shown a mirror, especially when a foreigner is holding it. Ellie Grace and her mum are just as funny as their promo spot hinted, and Bing Gordon, unlike his character's promos, is quite funny. Grandma and Connor do not disappoint.

I'm not surprised that we are already censoring the duo's comedy, as promos for these two new characters:

had to have their teeny weenies obscured in all promos (even 'Red Band' ones) because the American public just can't handle penises. I wonder then how the show will deal with our darling Bubbles, as when I first saw her on LB, I was astonished that any country had mainstream comedy that was this uncensored, and I longed for that to be exported to the States, but it looks like even HBO can't handle it.

As the narrator mentions, "More and more British people are spending their holidays in America. We enjoy the food, the weather, and the fact that the dollar is now worthless." Of course, Walliams and Lucas are no fools and know that America's last valuable commodity is still Hollywood whoring of talent, which is why this show is on US telly anyway.

To judge on one episode is outrageous, so I'll be monitoring LBUSA (for better or worse) as the series continues.

the RAVING imp

Why I'm Not Duped by "Democracy"

2008-09-27T20:56:00.006-05:00

I promise this site won't become populated by what the majority of readers will deem "conspiracy theories" and "politics" if you indulge me this once with this (perhaps too) long and academic post. Still, these beliefs radiate from genuine intellectual consideration and a central long-held suspicion of reality that requires analysis from every available angle.

This essay has been prompted by viewing a presentation by David Icke.

In the summer of 2002, my mind began wandering over the idea that 9/11 had been simply coordinated from within the US government; that's how long if took me to get over the "shock and awe" of a major attack on the United States, and mind you, I was not living in any of the attacked areas or even knew anyone in those areas. I had no direct contact to these events, and yet my emotions had scrambled my logic to the point that I believed unannounced war on an independent state tangentially related to the believed perpetrators of 9/11 was justified. I believed the conspiracy of "us and them" because this looked like dodge the draft full-on war boiling. I can't imagine how someone involved in any related events to this "war on terror" has been able to clear their mind and process what is actually going on. I imagine that there is added reluctance to considering some of the things I am about to discuss and details I will cite because of the heightened tension in our present world that touches on most people's heartstrings.

It didn't make sense to me that such an advanced defense system as the United States would allow such a ludicrous Hollywood movie attack on the US. It was far too much like Jerry Bruckheimer and far too removed from Andrei Tarkovsky to be a real world event of war. It was the book I had chosen for that summer's required reading, George Orwell's 1984, that had originally planted the idea in my mind that perhaps groups were being made to fight each other by the same controlling force looking to gain power over the masses on both sides of the war. When I returned to school, I started publicly entertaining this idea with a few friends, but quickly stopped when met with such emotional reactions or dismissive comedic comments. That didn't stop me from beginning to spread my view in October 2002 that the United States would soon attack Iraq for reasons that the media and government would subliminally assert as being related to 9/11. People were laughing, and two years later, when comedy sketches and flash animations of Bush repeating "9/11, 9/11, War on Terror, Freedom, 9/11, 9/11, Weapons of Mass Destruction, War on Terror, 9/11, 9/11, Weapons of Mass Destruction, Freedom, 9/11" these same people were still laughing, but now out of discomfort with the truth and not with a surprise at absurdity. Now I'm certainly not Nostradamus or Henry Kissinger, because this bloke from England, who was once laughed off a national television, said these events would occur before they happened, and not with a crystal ball, with an everyday stack of logic. Icke's case on 9/11 is fully laid out in the second half of his talk at the Brixton Academy in 2006.

I found out about this "mental bloke who called the Queen Mum a lizard on Wogan" through watching a biographical short on Karl Pilkington(above), another man widely considered odd because he too poses questions which others generally consider absurd, and discusses a view of the world which does not fit in the mold of logic but is in essence a bastardized version of logic and an alternate method of processing reality. Karl has found his fame and fortune by applying his unique worldview in the world of comedy. Because Karl is commonly perceived as an idiot, he was referred to David, who is another person that has been widely misunderstood and labeled as crazy by the majority. But both of them have come out smelling like roses, and because they are touching on truth, be it through extremely nonconventional ideas. Clearly, I empathize with both of them, and so can anyone who has ever been in a ridiculed minority of one.

To me, the most intriguing bits of Icke's talks concern the Illuminati and its associated secret societies and bloodlines. I can remember when I first stumbled onto the internet as a twelve year old kid, one of the areas I wanted to check out (mainly because I was watching a lot of X-Files and SciFi channel) were conspiracy theory websites. I found some introductory stuff about the "New World Order" and was more piqued by that idea than any paranormal or extraterrestrial material. I couldn't find much on the net as I was still very much a computing beginner, so I went to my school's library. I can remember being thirteen years old, my freshman year of high school, pouring through the library's physical as well as electronic catalogue for information related to "New World Order". I soon hit the hot words "Freemasonry", "Illuminati", and "Knights Templar" but further research on these topics only produced small notes within the biography of major historical figures that they had been members of a specific group. I was able to get a book containing a Freemason chapter charter and fully lacking in anything occult but full of vague positively worded tenements of belief and practice.

When I lived in D.C., I frequently passed the Grand Lodge of the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry as it was on my route to my therapist and endocrinologist at Whitman Walker Clinic. When my mom visited, I took her there and climbed atop that giant sphinx on the right; she took a picture of me, which I wish I had, but we made the mistake of using one of her throwaways instead of my digital camera. I frequently stopped there on my way home for a smoke, and when I passed the building, I slowed to examine (what was visible) of the astounding garden behind the building. At one point, I was passing that building every other week for five months at various times of the day and week. I never once saw ANYONE who worked there - not a gardener, not a guard, not anyone going to "worship" at the temple, though I frequently saw tourists resting on the steps while their kids clambered about the sphinxes. I approached the front door several times, though a sign posted that the building was private and tours not allowed, to see if anyone would greet me, and (funny that) my knocks were never answered. I knew about the calculated layout of the city and its relationship to the Freemasons, and anyone who looks at a map of the city can easily pick out its many symbolic designs. The most obvious is the pentagram of cross streets, which on
metro maps I always noticed was altered at the many circle joints to be slanted out of recognition as a pentagram.

David talks about how the Illuminati are but puppeteers of seemingly opposing sides, and the world as we see it is the "movie version" that is being implemented to manipulate us. Thomas Jefferson - a statue of his head a central figure in the DC Masonic Temple garden - often promoted the idea that a select few, an intellectual aristocracy, should govern; Alexander Hamilton insisted that a select few, a banking aristocracy, should govern. Clearly, Hamilton had his way, and I've mostly favored a form of government that fits the Jefferson model. Now, if I look at their debates, I realize that they are both arguing to achieve the same thing - that a minority rule the majority - by taking what appear to be opposing sides, and to be precise, they were arguing over how the dominant Illuminati be selected. Icke insists that it is a matter of bloodline when it comes to who is Illuminati and who is the unwashed masses, in which case Hamilton and Jefferson were arguing what traits within the bloodline should dominate, and not which traits among all people. If we take a Judeo-Christian model and say the Illuminati are best represented as aligned with a devil figure and demons, I have to say that a benevolent figure and angels must also exist, and that it is the saintly people who should rule. The problem is I don't think it's easy as that - I think everyone has the potential for either side and choose based on experience and processing of these experience, and that the "leaders" may simply be us, but on an ego high. The vast majority chooses the limited path, the one that leads to universal oppression and more pain.

Quoting 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' by Black Sabbath:
Nobody will ever let you know
when you ask the reasons why
They just tell you that you're on your own -
fill your head all full of lies

As this election season approaches, I find myself sickened by the mass brainwashing and compliance masquerading as two sides in opposition, while in reality they are both controlled by the same rich fuck. How to transcend this bullshit? I don't know, but the answer certainly isn't to parade yourself about wearing the ruler's symbols and repeating their doctrines.

And that's why I don't like politics.

Now as to how to transcend the Illuminati pyramid model - quite a complicated and, for now, unknown thing to me, though Icke has suggestions that will remind you of paradigm hippies and early Timothy Leary work with alternate consciousness.

One thing I note is that if I look at this model of the Illuminati structure (check your money as its on there as well), I don't fit in any of the categories. That is probably because I don't have a steady job and headstrong about only employment related to my passions and artistic expression.

Oscar Wilde said that "art is meaningless", but you note that "art" isn't in this model, so that's the area in which I will continue to endeavor.

THE raving IMP

Choose Your Own Death: Interactive Zombie Film

2008-09-26T00:40:00.007-05:00

Well, it's either a Phillip K. Dick world where people intercept other people's brain waves and thoughts, or transcendentalism is real. I believe in both, which is why somebody has tapped an idea I (and the universal collective) have long had: an interactive zombie film. Well I didn't have to bother, the completed work is quite astounding. Yeah, I could bitch about the acting, but the concept and gore are too brilliantly executed.

Visit http://www.survivetheoutbreak.com/ to experience the project.

teh RAVINFg iMP

Infidelity: Is Spout My New Flixster?

2008-09-20T12:59:00.006-05:00

I am definitely cheating on the website flixster.com, as much as one can betray a website. I have discovered Spout which is much smaller in number of active members and has less reviews, but there is a larger focus on group discussion and a fully functional blog section. On IMDb, it's too easy to get lost in the forums and though they offer daily trivia and have added tags, their news is mostly celebrity focused. With RottenTomatoes, the advantage is blogging, but the network output is too congested with already established (and paid) reviewers from every major and minor publication, as well as too many astute unknowns who are trying to boost their profile.

Spout is the perfect size, appearing to offer a delicious combo of the intense intelligence of film fans found on CHUD with the casual charm of Flixster. Spout is causing me to realize what Flixster needs (tags and groups mainly), but Spout also has its deficits compared to Flixster. The biggest plus is that reviews are scarce though ratings and page views are plenty, plus you can RSS syndicate your review blog. If I could just RSS my Flixster updates, I wouldn't be so interested in Spout as their lists do not display your review next to the title and my lists are my biggest project at Flixster.

Still, it seems that Spout is a better launch pad for acquiring readers and ego boosts. Flixster has recently introduced a wiki that allows users to become "experts" but it requires tedious (and usually pointless) never-ending wiki editing that no one reads anyway. At Spout, there is a class of users called "mavens" who are featured throughout the site, and you can add a user as your maven (or have someone add you as their maven) just as easily as you can add them to your general friends list. Maven status is direct praise with many benefits, acquired by simply writing reviews someone else out on the interwebs finds enlightening.

Spout is just a fling for now, as rating/reviewing navigation is equal to Flixster's layout; they both have flaws - the biggest at Spout being the inability to review from the search results page), and my ongoing trouble at Flixster is with updating my lists. As I say on my Spout profile, I'm trying the site as a supplement/possible alternative to Flixtser (with linkage to my Flixster profile), but I won't be putting a blurb about Spout on my Flixster profile (yet).

TeH ravING imP

The Ricky Gervais Show Series 5

2008-09-16T11:17:00.005-05:00

I tried various methods and programs to convert the file (including GoldWave + old Audible version, Tunebite, and AllMusicConverter) and I was finally going to capitulate and do the burn to CD then rip from CD method, but then I foundt an mp3 version online. I added me tag to the comments and uploaded it to all the major torrent sites. So...not first to rip it, but first to upload and seed it.

GET RSK SEASON 5:
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4399073
http://www.mininova.org/tor/1810771
http://www.torrentreactor.net/torrents/2116798/The-Ricky-Gervais-Show-Series-5

THE raVing IMP

The Distributor MADE Me Do It!

2008-09-15T20:38:00.007-05:00

It's being called "Season 5" because the once free "Podfather" downloads were labeled as "Season 4" when they were put out for sale. The Podfather mess was A MESS - with Gervais' hired web goon Glyn Hughes arranging it so that pilkipedia.co.uk, a dedicated fan site that has a clear policy against piracy, was temporarily inaccessible, and WITHOUT notifying the site owner first. The site was shut down the day before the Podfather series was to be officially put out on sale on iTunes and audible because at the time, there were still links on the site to Podfather downloads. Read the official Pilkipedia account here. Listening to just the first few minutes of the new series so far, apparently the reason they're charging for this one is all the moanin we (the internet) did when they switched from free to paid.

So this new season, dubbed "Season 5" is a mere two hours, not split into episodes, and costs $5.95 at audible.com. E-trends paid for my copy (I run a traffic monitoring program for e-Trends and they give me $15 a month - it is the internet equivalent of being a Nielsen family). I mean - I ACTUALLY PAID FOR THIS ONE. But apparently I can't buy it in the format I want - mp3. Why do I want it in mp3 and not a file type that exclusively plays in the audible player? That's just rhetorical, sorry.

I WANT THIS FILE in MP3 FORMAT. It has not hit the major torrent sites yet, so I still have a shot at being *THE* one who does it. And I'm doing it because I'm pissed. If I could buy the mp3, I would have bought it and not shared it. But because it is being sold in an inconvenient format, I am converting it to mp3 and spreading it all over the internet.

WHAT audible HAS TO SAY ABOUT THE mp3 FORMAT:

Can I convert Audible titles into MP3 Files?

Audible uses security technologies, including encryption, to protect purchased programs. Our primary goal is to offer a great customer experience. Unlike DRM free MP3 music files, audiobook files must deliver a unique multi-hour listening experience. While the more typical MP3 files contain the same kind of audio data, they are not protected in this way.

You will not be able to convert the Audible format to MP3 or any other format because of this encryption. The measures have been taken by Audible to protect both the intellectual property rights of our Content Providers as well as the Authors. Audible's secure distribution system prevents a customer from passing along duplicate digital audio files to another listener. Audible created and employs a proprietary technology solution for distributing copyright-secure audio files that can be downloaded or streamed from audible.com. Audible's audiobooks can be played in over 600 AudibleReady devices, including Kindles, IPods and most other MP3 Players. We also are compatible with GPS devices such as Tom Toms, all PC's, Mac's and in-house systems such as Sonos.

Audible recently announced that it is working to provide an option of DRM-free spoken work audio titles on Audible.com for content owners and publishers who prefer this method and are committed to working with Audible to maintain a great customer experience. Currently we do not have an implementation date.

Better speed it up, audible. You're not making it harder, you're just giving us incentive. Stupid cuntlickerz. Seriously LOOK AT THIS STUPID PLAYER I AM HAVING TO PUT UP WITH JUST TO LISTEN TO THE NEW RSK:

Piratebay link once I convert it (or someone beats me to it) and a bit of a review.
Best Karl quote so far (four minutes in): "I feel guilty chargin' for this."

teh RAVING imp

Cyber Salo: FOX Reality Show 'Solitary'

2008-09-10T12:19:00.019-05:00

The world is just as Pasolini imagined in his film Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom, except there's no sex or bloodshed - or true victims - because these people are isolated with their desire to be humiliated for $50,000, some exposure, or whatever more seemingly "respectable" purposes they claim as motivation (which only reveal an odder root of weaknesses and nature for those contestants insistent on pure self-improvement).

In this show, everyone is put in a separate "pod" - a hexagonal room of at-around ten feet wide. Their food, beds, personal items, and restrooms are not adequate and access is controlled by the "computer" VAL. They are subjected to tests and then treatments, with the winner of the test being exempt from treatment to follow. They may leave the game anytime they want by hitting the RED button and declaring "I quit", and anytime they need anything they must hit the GREEN button and ask VAL's permission.

Season 1
Episode 1 - Meet the rodents. First bit of dehumanization is to take away their names and number them. "Treatment" one: sleep deprivation and the alarm system. Hottest: Number 1. Favorite to win: Number 4. Seems phoniest: Number 7. Most transparent: Number 5. Obvious asshole: Number 6. Person I empathize most with: Number 8.
Episode 2 - They get shown a crap montage of crap mock horror film, and then they have to lay on bed-o-nails contraptions for over four hours.
Episode 3 - Would have been fantastic if they had someone with bulimia on the show as the contestants face what is called the gluttony treatment, eating round after round of food until they vomit or quit. As it is, we get a great unexpected hurl, unfortunately from the contestant I most empathized with in terms of philosophical approach and overall awareness.
Episode 4 - Number 6 is one of those macho minded bitches that will never admit defeat (even though he doesn't face elimination and the machine informs him of this), so the contestant results to threatening to shit the room and demands a person come to open the door and remove the vomit bucket. The producers as the machine take it easy on him during this first temper tantrum, but he obviously isn't getting it as he starts bitching for his chapstick on his evaluation form: "I know you lost my chapstick, so go out and buy a new one. Brand: ChapStick Medicated". Then he gets on a soapbox about reality tv, while the others get art therapy time and take a memory game. Highlight at 41:00 as Number 6 bares his ass:

Note on episodes 5 and 6: These episodes are not longer than the others; if you watch on hulu, the show will begin again about forty minutes in. To see the conclusion, just jump ahead in the timeline to the last ten minutes when the episode's editing puts you back at the episode beginning.
Episode 5 - First minute has a good recap of Number 6's meltdown. Worst torture yet: country music kicks off an aural endurance. After a clear attempt to push the contestants into crazying up their interior design and demeanor with paint, imaginary friends, and dv cams, the computer communicates contestants' questions and answers to each other. Number 4 hurls in the chair spinning competition.
Episode 6 - Two of the remaining contestants start to look like complete shit as the spinoff continues, but Number 1 has been a spin addict since childhood so they just let her spin until Number 7 finally gets exhausted. Number 5 lets out some of his divorcee baggage, Number 3 goes mental with a pillow, and Number 7 stays annoyingly calm even through the liquid pepper challenge.
Episode 7 - Mattresses are taken away, temperatures drop below 50F. Producers aren't getting desperate enough pleas from the contestants, so for for their next test, they have to submerge their head in water for ten seconds to reveal a speech on their screen. All they have to do is recite this quick speech: "oh god the walls are closing in on me I swear the walls are closing in I want my life back I think I'm losing my mind I want I want to go home please let me out of here let me out please I promise to be good" but they all struggle through, missing a word here or there, washed away by the water chamber.
Episode 8 - Number 3 and Number 5 face the most physically demanding test yet, as they have to circle their pods hitting switches with backpacks of weight. For once in the program, the winning contestant does not have to do an additional round so that the machine character can "observe their limits". For those who can't waste time watching the whole series, this episode nicely recaps the best bits, including Number 9's erotic-ish moan when he lost. Number 7 keeps proving himself a pessimistic prick when the machine allows the remaining contestants to ask and answer questions of each other. Number 5 never shuts up and always reacts with full emotion, but at least he says what the few ignorant audience members need to know, "Sadomasochism! That's all this is!" when they are given their final task to sit in a small box for as long as possible. Much as Number 5 suspected, one of the spiked walls gradually moves in and they have to watch the scary image compilation again. The show has no grand celebration finale for the winner, and implies that VAL has now decided to keep him prisoner.
Episode 9: This is the reunion special. This obviously has recaps and clips and is set in a small audienced studio to a panel format.

On a related note, take some time to watch Quills on Hulu if you've never seen it.

teh RaVING imp

w00t for Flixster and NAKED LUNCH

2008-09-08T11:07:00.021-05:00

I'm falling into one of those co-dependent relationships with the site flixster.com. I love the profile features (especially skins), the minimal ads, the gigantic database, the polls, the hifalutin and snobbery that can occur in one of your private Coversations of a few friends whilst simultaneously indulgent nonsense is all over your forum posts, the list option, the free format allowing for just a phrase or a whole analysis, and - my favourite feature- the LISTS. And today: more brushes with the overly supportive divinely dedicated staff.

My favorite list is this one: <__You'll see this widget on my flixster page and at the bottom of this mutha because I am DAMN PROUD of my "That's Fucked Up!" Cinema. Since I started the list on July 4, 2008, it has received the most visits of all my lists: 224 hits to date and a reasonable chance to make it onto the Flixster Top 100 Favorited Lists if I just get two more ppl on my friends list to favorite it, and once it's built up to full strength in a few weeks/months, I'll mass comment to my flixster hoard requesting them to review it, and we'll see how it does and I bet that it will easily make the Flixster Top 100 Highest Rated. Since I started the list, I get one or two messages and/or friend requests per week because people dig THIS list.

Anyways, not only has Flixster overhauled the site quite awesomely, I've been having troubles updating the list and emailed them about it. It was like the second or third time I think I had to contact customer support about list update problems (with all lists) but this time, because it was the "That's Fucked Up!" Cinema list I did a lil precum diatribe in case they were censoring "fuck" as some sites have sly censorship (the technology is in place to, instead of removing, blotting out, or mutating to euphemism your forbidden word, they simply put a limit on number of expletives. Just like the MPAA, if a post has got twenty "fucks" and over five "cunts" but up to ten "cocks" and three "anal-fisting", it may be censored because of the sixth cunt. Thus ends the sixth cunt theory. Go watch a fuckin movie:

a perfect movie, which you may watch on hulu or flixster, or right here: Naked Lunch (1991, dir. David Cronenberg)

My "most fucked up" highlight for this movie is ataround 26:00 and then again at the finale.

the RAVING imp

New Feature Called 'Filmroll'

2008-09-06T15:47:00.004-05:00

I need to jog my blog output, and with something that may get me some visits, so thus 'Filmroll'. What I do with pretty much all of my time is download and then analyze movies via the web.

I use countless outlets to discover the movies I "must see", mostly Flixster, IMDb, Netflix, and the blogs I read (linked to below on the blogrolls). I pay to watch films on Netflix Instant Watch as part of my regular subscription. Hulu is advertising fueled free streaming of films. That ends my legal means of watching film, as I have been a net pirate since thirteen years old.

Nowadays, I'm a HUGE leech and WAY more mainstream of a pirate than I used to be (was an IRC distribution snob), and that is because torrents allow it so. I prefer ye ole Pirate Bay, TorrentReactor, and mininova. Between those three, I can find anything if it's out there in the main sphere of usenet/irc piracy without the hassle and time consumption of being in a piracy group. I use µTorrent to process my torrent files, and offer my full troubleshooting aid to anyone who needs help understanding it. I've visited VideoHelp for years now to keep my computer up to date with any of the necessary latest digital video technology, and you can easily configure your computer to play any form of digital media using the many FAQs at VideoHelp. The video player I most strongly recommend, like the most of the TOO MANY I've tried over the years, and will also gladly help you troubleshoot, is KM Player because of its high selection of image/audio customization features like fully adjustable aspect ratio, full subtitle editor, video and audio renderer selection, as well as the full basics like image filter adjustments (contrast, color level, gamma), playlists, and multiple user interface options for the player. I've been using Flixster to keep tabs on what I'm watching and keep an organic database of my own reviews; I formerly used IMDb for this, but the networking on Flixster is preferable because one can actually find thoughtful viewers and I like the profile customization and many outlets for discussing film and finding your own niche cadre of film fanatics.

Basically "Filmroll" will cover my whole watching process. You get (my version of) the movie's synopsis, a link to the (certified working) download or stream, and then my bitchy review and score of the movie along with a few screencaps should I see something worth remembering and my guarantee that I'll help you get the movie on your computer AND in your head. It sounds bloggish enough to me. I'm here for all your Eternal September needs.

the RAVING IMP

Gustav is Convenient for Politicians, Inconvenient for my Penis

2008-08-30T06:05:00.007-05:00

Maybe I have become like one of the Yats I mocked in childhood, because I refuse to leave for this storm. This rush to abandon New Orleans this Labor Day Weekend is very much media and fear induced.

Feeling the three year pang of Katrina, any citizens with a shred of superstition are fleeing, and raving all about it in line at the Family Dollar or whatever other store people are flocking to for rations. If you own a television set and ever switch it to a local station, all you will see is the same alarmist soundbytes looping with the occasional "Live Weather Update" about once an hour or if (THE GODS THEY ARE) The National Hurricane Service alters any of their projections.

Southern Decadence is not officially cancelled, and the Quarter is packed with slutty guys set to stay for the weekend. SO many eager asses, and they are using public transportation for evacuation! This is a little too late, my government; the massive storm that nearly destroyed New Orleans - you federal fuckers didn't do a damn thing about it until days after it hit. All this is is an exercise to demonstrate the prowess of Homeland Security and create an illusion of change in local government policy.

That's great that it only took the near end of New Orleans to organize our federal natural disaster relief efforts. I'm broke as hell so if this thing hits, I'll be first in line to get my maximum ration of MREs and I won't have to worry about groceries this month.

People are requesting that you pray for the city's safety and begin preparing to volunteer with the "relief effort" when we inevitably need it. I just want a ride downtown so I can get me some BOYHOLE; where are the buses the one weekend I'm willing to leave my room? Oh yeah, they're "evacuating" people five days early instead of providing me with basic transportation services.

the RavinG imP

Old Distribution Methods in a Web World

2008-08-24T10:05:00.009-05:00

Pirates and video coders are always finding ways around DVD protection methods. And the harder they (they being the distributors/manufacturers) make it, and the harder they say it is to crack, the more from the very best of cyber subculture will emerge to tackle the new "challenge". After the coders are done, pirating groups take over from there, spreading so quickly since the crack that a file can be a torrent on a mainstream site EASILY within two hours.

This primarily effects major distributors and studio film-makers, but only the ones who have put out a poor product. Duping the masses into settling for mediocrity is quickly coming to an end, and the internet and its many telecommunications siblings are responsible.

If the content is worth buying, people WILL buy it. As the MPAA closes in, piracy is not as safe for the intermediate user anymore. The dedicated pirates will always have outlets, but those outlets rarely have director commentary, alternate takes, outtakes, documentaries, cast/crew interviews, or even official trailers. Sites like youtube can pick up that slack for the most part however, so "Check" again. But, rook you forgot about, you cannot digitally distribute hard merchandise like replica statuettes, autographed mini posters, original film cell (becoming rare), Smell-o-rama cards and the etc. that gets included in "limited editions". As far as packaging art, few users currently have access to professional printing on caliber with a distributed product. So even the most hardcore pirate will spend money on something eventually, even if it does come down to "just merch".

As a taste issue, you won't be seeing any bootleg Criterion Collection titles in anyone's collection. But if that CC isn't high quality, people will just stream/download the film by itself or keep the old no-frills dvd release.

Even film artists can embrace the "1000 Fans" model (and subsequent debate) Trent Reznor has made famous for music talent. Put everything on YOUR site, digitally distribute DIRECTLY to your user (even if that includes ALL the "special features" like commentary, docs, interviews, or even the menu layout), still offer the standard physical version, and create a psychical "limited edition" alternative for your die-hard fans. If you really did do great work, people will buy it because we want to feel the creators' touch all over their art turned product rather than random person's version unless as stated prior, random person does a better job than original creators. It is media Darwinism. Whoever can pull it off best wins, and that's how it's always been. Whether or not this shift in distribution will effect the quality of what art is remembered has yet to be seen, and would be subjective anyways. What matters is that the profiteers are panicking, and it means even more awkward and heated discussions between directors and executive producers.

the RavinG IMP

Today's American Horror SUCKS

2008-08-23T14:03:00.010-05:00

Can Americans do horror anymore? I'd say no. Especially now that the French have accepted horror as a legitimate genre for film-making and paired it with their flair for thrillers. And of the Asian market, Miike alone has covered probably every gory or disgusting taboo subject in top (and, at some points, near flawless) cinematic language in the past fifteen years.

Because I'm not an exec at Dimension or Lions Gate, I have the good fortune of never having to deal with Asian "ports" (term I use for language/culture-centered remakes). They're mere vehicles for struggling actors to keep themselves profiled and potential catapults for foreign directors who need (and usually deserve) some Hollywood bucks and the power that can come with being a success in with that crowd. I can't blame the directors and producers who battle studio politics to retain key crew members (esp Cinematographer and Art Direction) from the original and try to push their next project to the 30mil budget minimum exec producers littered around like cigarette butts on the boulevard. It's not just Japan and Korea in on the action nowadays, as Hollywood again looks to Europe: Italy is always good for some of Bava's students or even ol' Argento himself, Spain is another place starting to boom with good zero budget horror as showcased in 6 Films to Keep You Awake and adaptation of [REC] to Quarantine , and Night Watch triggered a flood of horror-action centered film-makers in Russia.

This porting is and will always be due to executive producers, but you just can't reason with those pie-chart people. It would be great, and at least interesting, if execs assigned directors who would otherwise be just "porters" to new projects instead and potentially make more money.

I've had The Haunting (1963) on my re-watch list (and in my DVD player) for a few days now. I was barely teenaged when the remake came out in 1999, and I kept shouting out stuff that whole terrible thing, like "Use the Force, Qui-Gon!" when Liam Neeson is on that falling suspended staircase. Decent thing about that remake is that Turner Classic Movies showed the original around the release.

This reminds me of another horror classic remade during the same time, The House on Haunted Hill, which often gets lauded as a passable remake. In contrast with the original (starring Vincent Price), the remake is hardly more than sound cued scares, and its flaws go beyond all the added blood and gore. It's simple cinematography. The cameras don't even try in most of today's horror movies. The CAMERA is what primarily makes older horror movies more effective scares. Look at Rosemary's Baby - Polanski's frequent choice of odd angles and camera positions that add to a distorted paranoid feeling. In original House on Haunted Hill, two of the best scares were done with just camera angle and shadow work. Carpenter's Halloween is all about the mise-en-scene and editing; that is that film's source of terror from the very first scene inside young Michael's mask. Even Hooper's original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is barely bloody, and the gore is implied by what we can and what we aren't allowed to see.

In newer films, too much of the scare rests on the score and effects, and minimalistically on story. This can work for some extreme po-mo slashers (being heavy on score and gore) like A L'Interieur, The Devil's Rejects or High Tension but these films are also parodies of a whole genre, so they needn't their own powerful story, their story is one of cinema aesthetic taking stock of itself in terms of cinematography. These films show us, in complete bloody detail, what their heritage wouldn't or couldn't and it makes them valuable to SOME audience members, but usually just the gore hounds and film buffs who already know which scenes allude to which schools of film-making. Their appeal is already genre-based, so they require that over-the-top amount of gore, but not to scare as their less bloody predecessors did, instead to thrill and excite as the modern audience demands.

Where 99% of modern (American studio funded) horror fails is emphasizing the visual over the story, but without referencing any substantial body of story archetypes, without pushing the boundaries of taste to their absolute limit, and without using the camera to inventively capture the overdone effects. I really worry about the state of taste in this nation when a fifth installment of a crap horror franchise (Saw duh) still gets full national theatre release in what will probably be the last generation of the traditional movie theatre distribution model. It's like.....Hollywood fuckers it's time to give it one last hurrah, not one last "fuck you, k thx for ur money, all you zombies".

Something currently SCARING the HELL out of me: The Last House on the Left and Cannibal Holocaust are simultaneously filming remakes right NOW. As they're among the few decent ultra-gory horrors of their day, it's frightening to think that more mellowed modern money-centered sensibilities might be meddling with the legacy of these two films. It obvious that Deodato is doing "CH" for the money and exposure (and to cleanse his animal killing reputation for the millionth time), and Craven allowed "Last House" because he wants more money and exposure. It is nearly paradoxical that "old gories" like these two are effective but transformed to meet that new standard for horror and put against pedestrian fare like Saw and Hostel, which thrive off of trivializing extreme gore without filmic reference, the remakes don't stand a chance at a scare (or even, the originals wouldn't even freak out today's tween population that lives on SawHostel garbage).

I hope some of that made sense. Horror's complex, even though an already exhausted genre.

the RaVInG 1Mp

Week in Review: New Resident Evil 5 trailer, Ricky Gervais Season 4 Preview, Bad MIRRORS Reviews

2008-08-23T01:04:00.008-05:00

_Here's the new trailer for Resident Evil 5 from the Leipzig convention in Germany, also mentioned at Bloody-Disgusting on Aug 20.

_Ricky, Karl, and Steve are hitting the interwebs already with a preview of the upcoming season. Check it on/in the official iTunes page or download it courtesy of inferior ZX81 of pilkipedia at http://www.mediafire.com/?zj2xiiju9zl. People are already moanin about the clip on the Pilkipedia forum. My review of the seven minute preview, which alot of people are angry is comprised of old material (see that forum link):

My opinion of the shows is pretty much the same for xfm and podcasts, which is that when Ricky and Steve are talking, it's typical hit or miss rehearsed comedy, and I probably wouldn't bother with it on its own, preferring their calculated formal work. But when Karl starts talking, and they start actively responding to him (without being overly dismissive and loud like how Ricky ruined Monkey News and Steve killed Rockbusters), it's always guaranteed stream of renius. You can't blame Karl for treading old territory because he probably doesn't know better. Even more, because he's not a trained actor, just a bald monkey who can talk, each time the story, the point of the story, and the details are completely different and he has something new to moan about related to that subject. Karl always has a new and inventive way of moanin about things. I personally LOVED the preview - didn't see anything in the part where Ricky and Steve are talking, but as soon as Karl starts up, it's gold, especially the "BULLOCKS TO THAT".

There's also a newish clip of Ricky wrestling with Karl and it's a classic to me, with Karl biting Ricky, stretching in an odd way, and a few precious genuine smiles from the Pilkers. Check it out:

_Alexander Aja's and Gregory Levasseur's new film MIRRORS is really not going over well with reviewers, horror community or not, at it's currently at an aching 15% on RottenTomatoes. The majority of those mainstream reviewers RT has crosslinks for also disliked Haute Tension and The Hills Have Eyes 2006 remake, which is my favorite remake made by contemporaries and the best horror movie remake I can think of, period. Below is Aja discussing the movie's intended key scene:

The main blogger at Bloody-Disgusting REALLY didn't like it but the fan reviews aren't thrill-filled either. ONLY ONE of the seventy-odd horror fans on my flixster list have reviewed it, in addition to one non-horror buff who liked it immensely but has no prior Aja experiences. In combination with being completely broke, these bad reviews have caused me to decide NOT to pay for MIRRORS, and fingers crossed that the DVD with commentary comes out before Halloween, or at least someone leaks a dvdrip for me to salivate over whilst I wait for the bonus features.

ravInG IMp

Blog Blog What Is It Good For?

2008-08-22T09:45:00.003-05:00

SO I am trying to figure out what this blog business is, how I set up a proper one, syndicate it to as many people as possible, and ideally have one of every button on my page so that whoever visits me can superlink-email-tellafriend-bookmark-rate-post-digg-queue-share-comment-shit a link back to here, the very anus of it all. Eventually, I'll have my own icon. Until then, an orange B symbolizing BUTT, as in the anus of internet that blogging is, will suffice.

To begin my WAR EFFORT, I have joined Technorati and Twitter. what the fuck for, I don't yet know but such is the wonderment of the internet. And I finally found out where people go to make those stupid fucking manga avatars. I tried to make one, but the site confused me and wouldn't load, plus I have a suspicion they won't allow for fat-faced people in manga avatar maker. body fascists.

THE raVinG 1mp

In celebration of Olympic badminton

2008-08-11T22:53:00.002-05:00

who so serious about "The Dark Knight"?

2008-08-10T03:09:00.006-05:00

Join with the other AGENTS OF CHAOS and UNFRIENDS OF BATMAN to rip on 'The Dark Knight'
Don't tell me all you fansters are *really* that satiated by this movie? Surely, it's the drought that has left you all suffering from dehydration (and delusions that this is a "great" movie as opposed to "acceptable").

So the whole net is ablaze with people saying that it's "Nolan's masterpiece" with "a chilling last performance from Ledger" and a "wonderfully dark pulp sensibility".

Well, enough of that bullshit. We all know Nolan's got a better film in him than a comic franchise; Terry Gilliam has been trying to remind everyone (via one of his favorite forums Variety) that Ledger was filming for "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" which has yet to release; twenty years and two movies have passed without surpassing or matching in "dark themes" the original story basis, Frank Miller's 1986 'The Dark Knight Returns' provides.

Bale's raspy Batman voice needs a cough drop. Batman's motorcycle thingy does about 30mph tops and the CG on it is totally shit. Ledger's Joker is a straight derivative of Nicholson's Joker, as if Ledger only bothered to watch that one actor's version of Joker, just as Aaron Eckhart's Two-Face voice (note it especially when he yells in anger) is an obvious impression of Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face voice. Ledger's performance is inflated by the score for the Joker theme; it makes him seem much better at the role than he is.

Where the hell is the bat cave? The cell phone thing is just outright lame and annoying. So sick and tired of people playing up the "barrels of oil and a few guns" means the story's subtext is about Bush's war on terrorism. Pacing over shot setup for the entire movie.
Yeh the hospital scene is pretty damn awesome. But it's the costuming and camera angle that make that scene really work, not the two actors, as I thought on the exchange level beat to beat it was a weak "meeting of the villians" for the Batman universe.

I could keep going, BUT -=YOU=- NEED TO.

It's okay to dis Hollywood's golden summer shower. It's not that great. Be *really* cool and rip on Dark Knight. Stop inflating it just because its biggest competition in the last ten years was Sony's pathetic attempt at "Spider-Man".

Masterpiece?!?!?!?!?!!? why so serious fanboys?

_t3h RaVinG ImP
impraving.blogspot.com

Anime Movies Drew Must See: Groundbreakers Pt. 1

2008-08-04T22:11:00.002-05:00

Spirited Away (2001)

directed by Hayao Miyazaki
IMDb Official Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245429/
Miyazaki is internationally acclaimed as a master of animation, and his earlier films are credited with allowing the breakthrough of Japanese style anime manga into the consciousness of American audiences, especially the generation raised on a palatable mixture of Disney films and Japanese imports (our generation). Miyazaki has accomplished much with his astounding filmography including Princess Mononoke, My Neighbor Tortoro, Porco Rosso and Lupin III series. I highly recommend Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind as it is my personal favorite Miyazaki pre-2000 and features the voice talent of Patrick Stewart.

Spirited Away encompasses a magical world where spirits dwell alongside animal-like victims of witches spells and ancient creatures of the world. The story follows a young girl who is forced to work for a controlling witch in a spa and restaurant for travelling oddities in order to restore her parents to human form as the witch transformed them into pigs. The visuals are such that I doubt you will see few pieces of art in your life to equal this. Just beautiful, listed at the top of my favourite movies.

I recommend renting the DVD so that you can decide which language you want to hear or read. There are English dubs, but the best mix is in Japanese audio with English subtitles (also there are two translation versions of the subtitle on the DVD). Alternatively, the best torrent has a hard sub of the first subtitles and is sufficient quality visually - click here to download, click here for torrent's page. There is also a smaller file, lesser visual quality torrent (here for download, here for torrent info) that has "soft subs", which is an option in most media players where you can select which subtitle file you want to use and there are many versions available from sites such as opensubtitles.

Appleseed (2004) and Appleseed: Ex Machina (2008)

The first movie is a sort-of remake of Appleseed (1988), which has a very 80s animation feel to it, though its characterization is just as high and the dialogue feels more naturalistic. In the new version, the plot is altered a bit, but the visual change is dramatic as the world leaps into 3D CGI with brilliant results. It is tempting to watch Ex Machina first because it is on netflix Instant Watch and there aren't any rips up to my standards in the torrent world, though you are welcome to look. Also, there is the dilemma again of subs vs. dubs and getting the ones the director wanted you to see. For my current collection, I ripped two versions of the DVD (one english, one japanese) but I lost them as they were on a new drive that failed. Also, the DVD has got some great extras that are more than worth a rental or purchase. I prefer the story of Ex Machina, but it does require you to have prior knowledge of the characters in order to enjoy and feel the emotional components of the story (which drive it more than mere plot incidents). You will still get the visual stun, but I don't know how well a new viewer can cope with the character details in Ex Machina as I saw both versions of the first Appleseed and was one of the anxious awaities when Ex Machina came out. I suppose it is designed to appeal to new audiences, but, for the fifth time, I hesitate because that might depreciate your love of the movies' world.

Metropolis (2001)

This is a modern version of Fritz Lang's classic, in which the class struggles are between humans and androids. This is one of my favorite animes of all time, and is absolutely beautiful. Some anime fans write it off as overly simplistic or say that they are unable to connect with it, but I find it to be a wonderful and exhilirating cinematic experience where I find myself caring about characters I would normally write off as cliche archetypes. I'd go so far as to recommend a cold buy. Netflix page

Millenium Actress (2002)
directed by Satoshi Kan

Satoshi Kan first caught attention with Perfect Blue, a film that has been recommended to me many times, but I have not seen it yet though it is on Netflix Instant Watch. Millennium Actress shows how far outside of the action for kids/early morning cartoon genre anime films can go as it portrays a complex story with subdued characters just as well as a top live action drama would. Here, animation serves to not only enhance cinematography in traditional modern drama, it redefines the rules of what is possible in modern drama, animated or filmed.

Next time, I'll cover some Horror titles as Groundbreakers continues.

What is a "Zombie"?

2008-08-03T15:39:00.012-05:00

I am extremely amused by zombie movies, my fascination beginning when I, on my typical nocturnal schedule, willingly scarred my retinas and psyche by watching John Russo's "The Return of the Living Dead" on late night television at the age of eight. For years, I was dead set against never seeing another artistic representation of these "zombie" creatures. At thirteen, I began to confront my fear when the internationally acclaimed "Resident Evil 2" video game released for Nintendo 64, and I decided that I needed to experience this revolutionary chapter in gaming as the "survival horror" became a househould genre with this title. My entire life, I have always had such vivid dreams that they often blur with my perceptions of this reality, to the point that I have believed a detail in a dream was an undisputed fact and something I had observed or experienced whilst awake. I had many Resident Evil based dreams, the most compelling of which was set in my backyard and the labyrinthine golf course which ran through my neighborhood; as I fluxed between the Leon character or myself as visual representation, I was fully able to utilize all of Leon's zombie killing skills and at the same time feel the genuine fear in the first person perspective of everyday existence. At eighteen, I had overcome my general fear of watching horror film (or indeed, most any reprehensible act in cinema), but I had yet to revisit the zombie genre and was still generally frightened of it. My best friend and then neighbor Daniel Hembry loaned me a copy of the then new "Resident Evil 2: Apocalypse" movie and "Shaun of the Dead". Recognizing "Shaun" as a brilliant examination of genre and feeling the chugging adrenaline rush possible in "Apocalypse", I began formally exploring the zombie genre of film and movies, indulging in both the subtle, satirical, reflective pieces and the absurd, overloaded, gore fests. The genre subdivides even further from there, but those are the best two classes of zombie movie in terms of the auteur's objective with the piece.

Then, there's the content side of things, which gets very tricky, and is a great reason that the Zombie Reporting Center does a weekly feature called Zombie Movie Or Not? where any site visitors can discuss and vote regarding that week's movie, as well as regular reviews called Undead Ringer which highlights movies that deceptively market zombie themes.

Here's my general opinion of ZMON, posted in a debate about Slither:

...I think this series makes for a valuable tool. My observation is that horror fans are quite picky, very genre-minded. As zombies are a literary staple - as standard as angels or leprechauns, and used so liberally as to be featured in every potential “genre” - there are ’standards’ that each person ascribes to what a ‘zombie’ is. With this exercise, we are not only examining the typical concept structures for the zombie creature, but people biased to a particular heavily perpetuated version of the ‘zombie’ can use the feature as a litmus test for finding the material they’re looking for. Furthermore, maybe we should embrace the idea that there are many more builds of zombie than just two, and I fear the sub-genretization mania that might occur, but perhaps the ultimate goal should be to explore and identify more modes of the zombie than “Romero” or “Voodoo”, as the ‘Slither’ debate has brought into plain view the recurring “body snatcher” mode of zombie.

Ultimately, I feel what we’re doing here is trying to find the essence of ‘zombie’, to really debunk what central idea it is that has pulled so many people together that it had to be given its own name.

I encourage all zombie/movie fans to check out this feature. Some movies already done (and their conclusions):

-Dawn of the Dead '04
-28 Days Later
-Mulberry Street
-The Last Man on Earth
-The Signal
-C.H.U.D.
-Lucio Fulci's The House by the Cemetary
-Army of Darkness
-Night of the Creeps

t3h-RavInG-imp

FIRST MONKEY NEWS EXTRA

2008-07-13T11:51:00.003-05:00

raving imp

The Mighty Boosh NEWS Before BOOSH FEST

2008-07-04T07:52:00.008-05:00

The Mighty Boosh boys Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding were on Jonathan Ross' Saturday Show. The Boosh Fest is this Saturday - TOMORROW - in Kent, England. The two revealed that they would definitely play "Future Sailors" and "Electro Boy" as part of their set.
They talk about the possibility of a film, Noel talks about some of his newer fashion pieces, and Jonathan analyzes a few select episodes, particularly season three, and reveals his love of Crack Fox.

And make sure you give it a listen using BBC's new iPlayer.

rav1ng Imp

More Karl Ricky & Steve Podcast News

2008-06-30T20:17:00.002-05:00

The Official Pic for the Podcasts Series 4

More info from Ricky's blog reveals that the news series will consist of six episodes, running from October through December. As usual, Ricky's worried about looking like a lesbian, especially since he was ranked #3 on the official top 25 from the superoddity comedy site "Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians"ABOVE Roger Ebert, who though also a great hero of mine is notoriously old lesbian looking (he's won two polls at menwholooklikeoldlesbians). I empathize and utilize safety sideburns and day old stubble to combat the Phil Spectorsyndrome of men lookin like lesbians. Some of these are shocking. My favorite, for example, Stephen King:

THE RAV1n 1Mp

KARL COMES BACK TO UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

2008-06-30T03:07:00.003-05:00

see the details at Ricky Gervais' blog:
Week seventeen - June 2008

Extra! Extra!

I have persuaded Karl to do one final series of Audiobooks. We have already booked the studio time and will start recording in the autumn.

This will almost certainly be the last time as we think we've achieved everything we set out to do.

I started doing podcasts to cut out the middle man i.e. the broadcaster. I started charging for them partly because it hadn't been done before and I needed to see if it would work and partly to make Karl some money.
===========================

Karl Pilkington, the world's most genius idiot, has had his genuine genius and internationally successful friend Ricky Gervais announce to the world that they, along with Stephen Merchant, will reunite yet again for hours of amusing meaningless drivel. If anything in the history of mankind were ever banned because of its utter lack of value to anyone. If an orange coudl talk - what the fuck am I saying - there's an orange that CAN TALK and it's KARL PILKINGTON!!!!!

Visit the Penultimate Pilkie Site Pilkipedia.co.uk

the ravingIMP

cake or...leans

2008-06-26T00:00:00.002-05:00

I saw

on Monday night and you didn't.

hello cyberspace

2008-06-25T22:56:00.001-05:00

All you pretty three people visiting this site! I like posting little bullshit. I believe in piracy and ultimate artistic liberation via the abuse of the advertising industry. Also dedicated to the ultimate subversion of said industry, via income from the perpetrators themselves, who will still be rich and not that pissed off about it anyway, no fuckit they won't care at all they'll just still be rich and happy.

5 Sites So Sexy You Could Fuck 'Em
and some other thiings for ppl under rox:
www.pandora.com - a project to "map music's DNA" that allows you to listen to free, high quality, extremely tweaked radio stations
why this rox compared to everywhere else: Pandora may not allow you to play tracks on demand, but it operates via flash, meaning that anyone can use it, and it in turn uses virtually no extra memory or cpu unlike your other clunky players,and this isn't just a player - it's an active adventure in database technology. Well wtf does that mean? It means that it's a smart fucking radio and could stand up to any top DJ muthalickin Deep Blue style.

www.torrentfreak.com/Torrentfreak/ - articles and news related to torrents including legal coverage, usage stats, user trends, and torrent "culture" plus pro analysis
why this rox compared to fucknet else: like it or not, torrents are fucking relevant as they are the most widely embraced form of downloading files by the computer intermediate. you ask "so why do i give a fuck me in my little usenet tower?" well because what happens in torrents is a prime indicator of not only how sharing will be combated in legal jargon and gives an accurate overview of what the entertainment industry will or can sell (hot IntellectualProperty) or is currently selling, it also reflects the behavior and choices of the most balanced and polling demographic of people. so give a fuck about torrents, and this lil site does a damn good job

www.russellbrandradioshows.zoomshare.com/ - russell brand is, as ricky gervais says "England's premiere froppy androgynous goth thing" which for some reason makes the ladies love him and the fellas think he's a lady at times. he's a funny fucker and this is ALL his radio shit. loads of great and hilarious appearances by the likes of wrinkly rocker noel gallagher and the fucking orange karl pilkington

Karl pilkington

www.visualthesaurus.com/ - it is just what it says it is
why your wiki can't help ya now: this site does what it fukcin sez. a thesaurus, in a highly visual idea bubble style for the visual oriented language learner ;)

www.ananova.com - 112% alright according to Karl Pilkington, this is where you go for your weird news
why this is just as funny as the other shit u waste ur time with: just read these headlines:
Students kicked off Facebook for eating a cat

A group of Danish students have been kicked off Facebook for cooking and eating a cat.
10:36 Thursday 12th June 2008
-
Row over fish in urinal
A Chinese restaurant has been criticised - for keeping ornamental fish in a urinal.
15:15 Thursday 15th May 2008
-
Corporate clouds
A US entrepreneur has come up with a way to create foam clouds shaped like corporate logos that will float up to 20,000ft into the air.
09:51 Thursday 8th May 2008
-
Student flashes Taj Mahal
A Dutch student has provoked an international incident by posting on YouTube a clip of him flashing his penis at the Taj Mahal.
10:13 Friday 11th April 2008
-
Lunt villagers sick of graffiti
A campaign has been launched in the historic village of Lunt to change its name because vandals keep defacing road signs.
11:56 Wednesday 9th April 2008

ALL PUNS INTENDED,
raving_imp ImPish RAVer just an impr 'aving it away